Build Date: Wed Oct 15 10:10:12 2025 UTC
Oh good; more stupid. We were running low.
-- S. Dallas, Esq.
Where No Caveman Has Gone Before
2002-04-06 18:06:01
Join the crew of the Enterprise as they "Flash" back into the pre-Bronze era and join Stonefleet on Stonedate 25,000 B.C.
Meet Captain James T. Kirkstone, the swaggering, ne'er-do-well, beer guzzling, woman chasing commander of the U.S.S. Magnetize and his First Officer Sprock, a Volcano by birth and the only member of the cavecrew to even remotely behave in a logical fashion.
Along with Chief Medial Officer Leonard "Fossil" RcKoy, who is in charge of the Magnetize's pre-Aesculapian healing department and liquor cabinet (and evidenced by the shiny red nose he always seems to have) and the kilt wearing Celt, Chief Engineering Montgomery "Shoddy" Shodd, who (usually) manages to keep the Magnetize's hybrid vegetable/mineral hull in one piece and prevent the magna/antimagma warped engines from erupting.
Lt. Hikaru Silu, Lt. Uhearya, Ensign Pavel Chipov and Nurse Christine Charcoal around out the cast of irregulars as the Helmsman, Communication Officer, Navigator and Nurse.
Six episodes currently await your viewing pleasure as our noble, if slightly bent, crew battles the trials and tribbles (a long promised episode) of outer space in its pre-vacuumed state era. Armed with geysers, communicating with clammunicators and delivered to planet surfaces via the transdropper, our heroes fight the evil Klingasaurus and Rockulans long before deep space puns were outlawed.
(Flash required)
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
