Build Date: Fri Oct 4 12:10:07 2024 UTC
Hey baby, wanna take a ride in... um... your own car?
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Where No Caveman Has Gone Before
2002-04-06 18:06:01
Join the crew of the Enterprise as they "Flash" back into the pre-Bronze era and join Stonefleet on Stonedate 25,000 B.C.
Meet Captain James T. Kirkstone, the swaggering, ne'er-do-well, beer guzzling, woman chasing commander of the U.S.S. Magnetize and his First Officer Sprock, a Volcano by birth and the only member of the cavecrew to even remotely behave in a logical fashion.
Along with Chief Medial Officer Leonard "Fossil" RcKoy, who is in charge of the Magnetize's pre-Aesculapian healing department and liquor cabinet (and evidenced by the shiny red nose he always seems to have) and the kilt wearing Celt, Chief Engineering Montgomery "Shoddy" Shodd, who (usually) manages to keep the Magnetize's hybrid vegetable/mineral hull in one piece and prevent the magna/antimagma warped engines from erupting.
Lt. Hikaru Silu, Lt. Uhearya, Ensign Pavel Chipov and Nurse Christine Charcoal around out the cast of irregulars as the Helmsman, Communication Officer, Navigator and Nurse.
Six episodes currently await your viewing pleasure as our noble, if slightly bent, crew battles the trials and tribbles (a long promised episode) of outer space in its pre-vacuumed state era. Armed with geysers, communicating with clammunicators and delivered to planet surfaces via the transdropper, our heroes fight the evil Klingasaurus and Rockulans long before deep space puns were outlawed.
(Flash required)
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
