Build Date: Sat Apr 26 04:00:27 2025 UTC
I think you're less of a freak than you want to be but more of a freak than you want to admit to your mom.
-- Tjames Madison
The Ins and Outs of a Very Sucky 2002
2002-03-17 17:49:24
Ever since the Supreme Court selected our current half-wit President, an ill wind has whipped this noble attempt at self-government, straining our will to persevere and chilling our resolve. Large and very duplicitous forces are conspiring to reduce this nation into a bunch of mindless morons, braindead zombies and marketing whores, incapable of anything more then unquestioning obedience to the dictums of our self-anointed rulers. Don't believe me??? Just look at the Ins and Outs of 2002 and tell me things haven't gone from bleak to horrible lately.
Out |
In |
Big, ugly NYC skyscrapers | Giant pits on Wall Street |
Crash and burn IPOs | DNA body part matching |
Annoyingly spunky Internet startups with too much cash and no business plan | Soulless multi-nationals with too much cash and a plan for TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION |
Huge CEO salaries and stock options | Huge CEO salaries and stock options cleverly hidden with accounting tricks |
Corporate accounting tricks | Better corporate accounting tricks |
Overt corporate lying, stealing and hypocrisy | New improved corporate lying, stealing and hypocrisy - now with government approved stealth technology |
Massive military spending | Even more massive military spending |
Mutual Assured Destruction | Unilateral Assured Destruction of anyone we don't like, guaranteeing our safety. Unless, of course, they have box cutters |
Balanced budgets - if you ignore little things like future Social Security obligations | Deficits - plus even bigger Social Security funding problems |
Lesbian Attorney General that obviously had only glanced at US Constitution, but never really read it | Religious nutcase Attorney General that uses the US Constitution for toilet paper and prefers a nation of laws to a nation of people |
Happy, Gay Nineties | Dull, Dreary and Depressing Oughts |
War on Drugs | Never ending War on Terrorism and an even more vicious and never ending War on Drugs |
A President that pretended to care and at least entertained us with his Oval Office sexual escapades | A President that would prefer all the non-rich, non-white folks to leave the country and last had sex sometime during the Reagan era |
Lip service paid to personal freedoms | National ID cards |
Free Speech - sometimes | We can't let the terrorists win — so shut up |
Displaying the flag | Figuring out how to take the damn flag down without the neighbors noticing |
Personal Computers that can play any software, music or videos the user wishes | Personal Computers that can only use software, music and videos "approved" by corporations |
Rainbow colored flags | Rainbow colored terrorist alert stoplights |
Corporate control of politicians with large cash bribes disguised as soft money campaign contributions | Ultra brief suspension of politician bribing while corporate lawyers look for new loopholes |
White collar criminals stealing Millions and not going to jail | White collar criminals stealing Billions and not going to jail |
Decades with catchy sounding nicknames | The Oughties |
Bloodshed in the Middle East | More bloodshed in the Middle East |
Americans quite happy not knowing where in the hell Afghanistan was | Americans worried as hell about Afghanistan |
Remnants of the 1st Amendment | Copyright and Commerce Clauses |
Suck, Feed, Salon, CNN, CNet, Wired, Slashdot, Plastic, FoxNews... | Pigdog Journal |
At least you still got the Pigdog Journal - fighting the "Good" People of the Present so we can have a future.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
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