Build Date: Thu Feb 12 23:10:13 2026 UTC
I don't care what any of these eggheads say about estrogenic whatzahoozits. I'm willing to sing soprano and have a huge quivering hairy vagina in the middle of my chest if it means I get to have JUSTONE MORE GODDAMN BEER.
-- Mr. Bad
George W. Bush Confronts Online Insurrection
2001-08-08 13:24:27
You can't have political dissent without a MIDI playing Devo's "Whip It." See George W. Bush! Dancing! In a tutu! In blue boxer shorts!
Disrespect is inevitable for any President, let alone an inarticulate lightweight who stole the election. But why squirm helplessly in electoral powerlessness when you can fuse political commentary to the Hamsterdance. Elsewhere on the web, surfers can even pow-wow with the interactive dancing George W. Bush. Select from a menu of disco moves and disco lights!
The "dancing Bush" gag gets old after a while -- as yet-another wacky webmaster throws in Dick Cheney in Speedos. But for a jarring juxtaposition, they've added at the bottom of the page "Help prevent drunk driving." They're serious. The link leads to one of those scary Sunday school poems. ("I went to a party, and remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom, so I had a Sprite instead....") In earnest all-capital letters, they even plead "WE ARE HOPING TO GET 5,000 SIGNATURES ON THIS, THEN PASS IT ON TO THE PRESIDENT." Maybe they can include one of those naked dancing Al Gore/Chippendale images, too. I'm sure the drunk-driving President and his stop sign-running wife will be receptive.
Living under the reign of a malevolent usurper, the unwashed masses grow turbulent. In an ugly rainbow of festering disempowerment, they create an ad hoc online town meeting where the obscure meet the disobedient in a summit of bad folk art. Alternating waves of rebellion and apathy, the throng congregates endlessly, sending each other talking postcards from Dress'em up Dubya, and secretly wishing their President was Hunter S. Thompson.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
