74 Days of Media Hell
2000-11-10 14:06:42
Well, it is official... there is no winner for the Office of the President of the United States. And, We the People are gonna have to spend the 74 days between Nov 7th and Feb 20th listening to the Democrats and the Republicans snipe at each other. Oh joy.
Sure, they might let someone take of the Oath of Office on February 20th, but he won't be a winner. He'll simply be a survivor, he'll have no mandate, no honeymoon, and so covered in political sludge that he'll stink from Maine to Hawaii.
No one will listen to him as everyone will be screaming at everyone else. About how the election of stolen, or that the Electoral College is bad, or that he didn't win the popular vote, that something is wrong in Florida or Oregon or ... well, the list goes on and on.
I have to admit, one of the things I find so funny is that both sides expect that after raising over a 100 million dollars, spending several years campaigning and facing the humiliation of defeat that someone is suppose to be a gracious loser. HAHAHAHA, maybe politicians of old could be patriotic and gracious losers, doing the "right thing" for the country. Not in today's lawyer infested, dog eat dog world. And they only have themselves to blame.
I guess in the final analysis, well, my final analysis as a total cynic of the first order, outside of Nader winning, this is probably the best thing that can happen. It is clear that even if the Republican control both houses of Congress and the Presidency, Washington will be unable to do anything for the next 2, if not 4 years. Total paralysis. Many would call that tragic, that the most powerful nation on the planet is hamstrung by a bunch of corporate owned politicians that hate each other so much and so evenly divided that no legislation can be past. Me, I call it a blessing. I figure that until the electorate is able to vote for politicians that haven't sold their souls to the multi-nationals, that the less Washington accomplishes, the better. We the People, are far better off with the Democrats and Republicans ripping each other to shreds, then having their greedy little eyes looking for ways to shake us down again.
As far as I'm concerned, we should just turn I-495 (the Beltway) into a big armed wall. Not for keeping We the People out, but for keeping Them the Politicians in. I say, throw all the politicians inside this gulag and just ignore whatever they say.
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)