The Catholic Church: Keeping Abreast
2001-12-22 08:53:36
You can't live in—or even visit—San Francisco without seeing a large pyramid-like building in the skyline. Many don't know that it's actually a Catholic cathedral. But even fewer suspect the source of this building's power: RAW FEMALE SEXUALITY.
I'll start with the background: Saint Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco was designed by architect Pier Luigi Nervi in 1971 and built amid an atmosphere of controversy. The building has been described by many as resembling an overgrown washing machine agitator, and several San Franciscans have taken to calling it "Our Lady of Maytag" for this resemblance. Others find the swooping pyramid shape refreshingly modern for sacred Catholic architecture. Yet the majority of visitors and residents still simply wonder what that large white shape is on the San Francisco skyline West of downtown and uphill of the Tenderloin.
http://www.bluffton.edu/~sullivanm/nervi/nervi.html
Urban legend has it that when viewed from the correct angle at the proper time of day when the heavenly bodies are aligned, that one can see the outline of a woman's breast in the shadow cast on the side of the cathedral by one of its 'wings'. Urban legend also has it that the Catholic Church sued the architect over the appearance of the breast, claiming that the appearance of a naked breast on the side of a cathedral somehow mocks the Church, which is reputed for being uptight about sexuality.
Interestingly enough, the first part of this urban legend is in fact true. Although the outline is a caricature of a breast—no real women, even after surgery, have breasts quite so large and defiant of gravity with such a complete lack of a ribcage—the outline is clear, resembling the breast of the chrome woman who reclines on so many truckers' mudflaps. St. Mary's needs be viewed from the Southwest in the midmorning. Alamo Square is a good viewing location, and depending on the season, sometime between 9 and 10 in the morning is the appropriate time.
On the issue of the Catholic Church's lawsuit, extensive research shows no evidence that the church ever filed suit against Nervi or even threatened to. The rumor could have started by the "telephone game" effect after individuals associated with the church or the Archdiocese made private commentary on the shape, but even this is idle speculation.
Do you see a breast? |
This would make an ironic sort of sense. By preying upon the so-called baser instincts of men, the church could in fact be reaching out to those that supposedly need ministering the most: sinners. The righteous, after all, are already righteous.
Right?
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)