We're not like the others.  We really hate you.

     
 

Smile! You're on Fascist Camera
2000-11-03 12:16:39


Art Fux
 
This is a problem for which a chemical solution exists.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

Wow! I've been all around this great big world, and I've seen all kinds of girls. But that's neither here nor there. What's up with SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS, man?

So, there are like KAJILLIONS of cameras all over this country, all over every city. Go out to the street or to a square or park -- and look around. There's probably 2 or 3 on you right now. Up in the corners of buildings, on the edges of ATMs. In the little nook behind the bus driver's seat. All over the subway or MUNI station. In your work, at schools, in the mall. LOTS OF FUCKING CAMERAS.

Now, most of these are watched by bored and fat security guards, although I once played this pr0n CD-ROM game where there was this hot, sexy security guard who would use the surveillance cameras to watch folks get freaky. Like, if you picked the right scenes to make her excited, she would take off more of her clothes. Or something like that. But in general, it's bored and fat security guards, with like a microscopic smattering of horny porn stars.

The weird thing about the Web is that, with Web cams, we're becoming a NATION of bored, fat security guards, watching other bored fat security guards watch each other on the Web. It's creepy, man. Is this the fantasy future we wanted to make happen? What happened to the laser pistols and the big genetically-altered elephant cyber-beasts? What's with being the WALGREEN'S RENT-A-COP? I missed that issue of Amazing Tales, I guess.

Anyways, these folks in New York City decided that it's just a little weird to be on the OTHER side of the camera. Being watch, being photographed, being recorded. All the fucking time, like when you scratch your ass on the subway platform when you think nobody's looking. Because SOMEBODY'S LOOKING! So they decided that if they were going to be on TV all the time, they better start looking good.

And they founded the Surveillance Camera Players (note that it's not "security camera" -- I like that. Use your language well, folks). They do PLAYS in front of the cameras, like Pere Ubu and 1984. They do all kinds of crazy shit! It's great! They even do stuff for Web cams on Times Square and some shit.

OK, but, all well and good. Check out the SCP Web site, and if you live in New York City, go check out their walking tours, pointing out the security cams and possibly doing some FUN CRAZYNESS. Beaujolais to the SCP!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

oarsman@pigdog.org


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