Build Date: Tue Apr 16 23:10:18 2024 UTC

I sense our will to conquer being eaten away. And without that we are nothing.
-- Z'nox leader

Deadly Things

These things can kill... so would you please stand right here... no right HERE!!! Thanks... been nice knowing ya (cough)

Pigdog Journal Articles


The Bacon Rocket
These blokes attempt to answer the age old question... can you make a rocket out of bacon? -- JRoyale


Passport Insecurity
With the growing identity theft problem in the United States, why is the government moving ahead with a technology that gives identity thieves another way to steal your personal data and allows terrorists to pick individual Americans out of crowds? -- Baron Earl


Top 10 ways... tell that the Pope is dead. -- Thom 'Starky' Stark


You Are Being Eaten By Invisible Vampires
So, anyways, did I mention that I learned toki pona? I learned toki pona. And as much as I loathe the vapid philosophy behind the Web site, I gotta say: I'm glad they have a link to -- Mr. Bad


But Do You Have to Turn Saddam Over Halfway Through?
Like a child on Christmas morning who can't wait to play with his new toys, the U.S. military is hoping to test out new microwave weaponry for the first time in a war with Iraq. -- Baron Earl


India and Pakistan - Strongly Preparing for the War
I received an e-mail from a friend of mine in India a few days ago. Raghu and I used to work together at a (now defunct) dot-com. He was the head DBA, and I managed all of the web infrastructure. Since Raghu didn't have a car and he lived nearby, I used to give him rides back and forth from work. We got to know each other pretty well. -- Baron Earl


Ninjas: The Ultimate DEADLY THING
Top five things that make me fear and exult: 5) Amyl nitrate. 4) Car crashes. 3) Courtroom showdowns. 2) Sex in public. 1) the REAL ULTIMATE POWER of a full-on NINJA ATTACK. Suweet! -- Mr. Bad


Jerk City's Slow Descent to Madness
Lately, it seems that Jerk City has taken on a darker aspect. Oh, there's still plenty of boners, pricks, dongs, and dicks, but more often, there seems to be a decidedly homicidal undercurrent swelling in the daily Net comic. -- Dkr. Armand Geddyn


How to Take Out a Suspension Bridge
How would one take out a suspension bridge? You could ram an airplane into it, but it's harder than ever to commandeer an airplane these days. Also, unlike tall buildings that fill the skyline, where you have a pretty good chance of hitting your target, bridges are low to the ground and don't have much of a vertical cross-section. Trying to hit one with a 747 wouldn't be impossible, but it would be difficult. -- Baron Earl


133 Preliminary PDF Pages of Biowar Fun
Recommended reading for Californians who breathe or touch things. -- Downer Cow


Now Hiring!
Ever wanted to work long hours for no pay at one of the most dangerous jobs in the world? A job where your only chance of getting ahead is to give some head? A job that's pure murder? Now's your chance! -- Baron Earl


And You Thought All You Had to Worry About Was H-bombs
Discover Magazine has developed a list of 20 potential ways the world could end. Some of them are pretty cool. Others are Sci-Fi clichés. They obvious had to stretch to make it to 20. -- JRoyale


I guess we should all use Winzip now.
The life of Phillip Katz, the creator of PKZip, has come to an unfortunate premature end. -- The Compulsive Splicer


Bubble Boy No More!
In 1976, the world knew nothing about severe combined immunodeficiency, boys in fish tanks, or even John Travolta. But one movie changed all that. -- Ragboy


When Toys Go Bad
Sick of government buttinski's blaming the internet for everything? Check out these cool ads plugging super-violent toys from the 50s and early 60s! -- El Destino


Every treatise I've ever read about how terrible "war toys" are mentions Lego building bricks as a constructive alternative. HA HA HA! Who are these people kidding?! Kids just make their own horrendous DEATH MACHINES out of Legos! The only problem: not enough olive drab bricks. But now an evil German toy company is making near-perfect knock-off Lego bricks. And they have tanks, missile launchers, army guys, and attack helicopter sets! Everything you always wanted! -- El Snatcher


This Really Isn't Funny
A woman died today when her parachute failed to open during a demonstration of parachute saftey in Yosemite National Park. There is irony involved in this. They say that 40% of Americans do not understand the concept of irony. I hope this clears things up for some of you. -- Negative Nancy


Bombs! Guns! Dope! Coke! Spiders! Lizards! Alligators! Scorpions! A Man That Lives With His Mom! A Garage Full of Lawn Mowers! Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! -- Negative Nancy


Cruisin' for a Bruisin'
Turns out the guy behind the wheel of the London train crash that took out six people two years ago was known for "displaying "very casual" behavior. For example, driving the 125mph train with both his feet on the dashboard, backing his "kitbag" (I think that's "backpack to you and me English speakers), and blazing through two yellow and one red light before plowing into a "goods train" 470 yards beyond the red light. -- Negative Nancy


Unconfirmed Case of Ebola Quarantined in Germany
"Unconfirmed," they say! Like there's any point to confirming it seeing how there is NO CURE or TREATMENT! An unidentified 40-year-old German TV camera man returned from a trip to the Ivory Cost with a nasty little case of hemorrhagic fever. This could get pretty damn ugly if any fellow passengers from the man's Swissair flight start oozing, too. We may not actually have to wait a whole four months for the end of the world as we know it.... -- Negative Nancy


Waking the Dead
I love it when the media makes some big deal over "new scientific proof!" of something really obvious like "Poor People Receive Inferior Health Care, Study Says" or "Taking 5,000 Vitamins at Once is Bad, Says Noted Expert." Well, here's another one: alarm clocks are hazardous to your health. -- Negative Nancy


Holiday Rice Cakes Kill Three
Everyday the media bombards us with stories about the supposed dangers of drugs, tobacco and alcohol, all the while ignoring the real deadly killers-- falling vending machines, laser pointers, and sticky rice cakes! -- Negative Nancy

Offsite links shared by staff writers



What to do in an emergency
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head. -- Miss Conduct



Lung sucking bomb
New US "thermobaric" bomb sucks air from deep caves and lungs. Al Qaeda members said to be deflated. -- JRoyale


When Will OJ Kill Again?
When will OJ kill again? Here's a Paypal account in which donations for a dollar each will be taken and the total sum will be awarded to the person(s) whose guess is nearest to the day without going over when... OJ Kills again!! -- Baron Earl




A Brief History of Smoking
Coolio! A history of smoking, from way back to right now. Yippee. -- Mr. Bad

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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