Build Date: Fri Jul 19 18:10:22 2024 UTC

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-- Catherine Zandonella

Mocking Parade

Celebrities that we laugh at.

Pigdog Journal Articles


3D-print your Wordle score
If you're not satisfied with spamming every friend and follower with daily updates of your Wordle score, now you can annoy and irritate everyone you meet in real life as well with a 3D printed Wordle score you can wear around your neck. -- Ersten Wiles


Bush Announces Economic Stimulus Plan, Stock Markets Plunge
On Friday President Bush announced an economic stimulus plan. The plan was short on details, vague on implementation, fuzzy about who would be helped, but sharply targeted when it came to how many taxpayer dollars should be spent -- about one percent of the nation's GDP -- somewhere between $140 and $150 billion dollars. -- Baron Earl


Yet Even More TV Shows We'd Like to See
The last installment in a three-part series of TV shows we'd actually watch if anyone would produce them. Are you listening Hollywood? -- Greg Houston with assistance by Tracy Jacobs


More TV shows we'd like to see
The second in a three-part series of TV shows we'd actually watch, if anyone in TV-land would put down their coke-straw long enough to do something original. -- Greg Houston with assistance by Tracy Jacobs


TV shows we'd like to see
The first in a three-part series of TV shows we'd actually watch, if anyone had the balls to put them on the air. -- Greg Houston with assistance by Tracy Jacobs


State of the Union? It Sucks!
Well, gentle readers, we've just sat through George II's State of the Union address. Instead of getting stinkers with the State of the Union Address Drinking Game, I have generously and foolishly stayed sober, the better to crank out this article in a timely fashion. OK, really I just forgot to go to the package store before they closed. -- h.r.taffs


I recently went and saw the movie Barbershop. For those of you who don't know, it's a PG-rated comedy about a barbershop in Chicago's South Side run by Ice Cube. It's not going to win any Academy Awards, but it's fairly funny and it has some good performances. It also pissed off Jesse Jackson, who asked producers to delete scenes from the film's future videotape, DVD, and cable releases. The scenes Jackson wants removed question the "sacred" status of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks and Jesse Jackson himself. -- Baron Earl


Fuck that Job!
With the dot-com economy in the toilet, companies far and wide are taking advantage of the availability of cheap labor willing to do just about anything to keep the groceries coming in. Just how far down can they push the salaries of the graphic artists, the programmers, the ad copy writers of the world? Can you believe that they're hoping you'll work for FREE? -- Baron Earl


El Destino versus the Nielsens
"This is Deborah with the Nielsen TV ratings service," the cheery voice on the phone said. Viewers across America were about to be represented by a degenerate freak like me... -- El Destino


American Hero Shoots Self in Ass
Americans are enthralled with the heroic tales of Our Men and Women in Uniform coming in from Afghanistan -- swashbuckling stories of torturing Al Qaeda prisoners, clearing smuggling routes for heroin cartels, and carpet-bombing orphanages and hospitals into smokey piles of gristle and cinderblocks. But it's important to remember that there's other American Heroes -- heroes who have answered the call of homeland security and stayed right here in the USA, ready at any time to shoot themselves in the ass in defense of Freedom. -- Mr. Bad


AOL/Time Warner Plans to Fumble Towards World Domination One Misstep at a Time
Does corporate stupidity know no bounds? Recently, AOL Time-Warner purchased Business 2.0, one of those hype-filled new economy rags, to add to its already overgrown, festering pile of fly-fattening media properties. -- Patient Joab


Bush Wins By Incredible Landslide
So, you've probably seen in the conventional news that the Presidential election is incredibly, painfully close, with one state's electoral votes making the whole difference for the free world. You probably bought a newspaper to get more information, and you're probably watching news shows more, and buying their sponsor's products. That's because you're a total sucker. -- Miles Standish


Metallica Sues Napster. Will Radio be their Next Target?
Today on the radio I heard Lars Ulrich, Metallica's drummer, state that people who used Napster just wanted free music, and that music should only be available to those who pay for it. It was then that I realized that not only did Metallica not understand the Internet, but THEY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF RADIO STATIONS! -- Baron Earl


It's ADVERTISING! Using JAVUR! How cool is that!?! They even call it JAVERTISING, which I have to say is the coolio name of the century. -- Mr. Bad


Woman Molested By Elvis & Michael Jackson At the Same Time!
Ewww! It sounds like a bad dream, Michael Jackson licking your faces while Elvis rubs the little King all over your back! Man, I just hope it was Elvis the younger years and he didn't just eat one of those crazy deep fried PBJ & ham sandwiches! -- Negative Nancy


Stupid Suck Parodies Stupid Slashdot
Har har har! I don't know who I hate more -- Stupid Slashdot-dot-org or stupid Suck-dot-com! The cool part is that they hate EACH OTHER! Haw! I'm glad to see them gnawing at one other's THROATS like belligerent DRUNKS at a VEGAS BUFFET! -- Mr. Bad


Entertainment Briefs: Kirk Douglas Fete Attracts Near-Record Turnout of Useless Celebrities
Actor Kirk Douglas, celebrating his 427th birthday by reaffirming his Jewish heritage with a second Bar Mitzvah, attracted a huge turnout of Hollywood scum, vermin and hangers-on to a Los Angeles synagogue yesterday. -- Tjames Madison


CNN and InfoWorld Mock Windows
The verdict is in -- the mainstream press has finally figured out that Windows is a bug-infested, crash-prone, piece of junk operating system. -- Baron Earl


Why England is Dying, Chapter 309
Check out the BIG NEWS: some stupid flouncy British pop star is getting married to some other stupid poncy British celebrity. Again. And once again, the BBC have decided this is front page news. -- Tjames Madison


Marilyn is WRONG!
Cranks attack Parade Magazine! Which side are you rooting for? -- El Destino

Offsite links shared by staff writers



Heil Rush! -- Baron Earl


How to RTFM -- Baron Earl



Bridge with Mr. Gates -- El Destino



Thank You For Calling Me A Cunt
Cuntfest 2000! "Thank you. Thank you for calling me a cunt." -- Mr. Bad


MC Hawking's Crib!
Your ultimate resource for information about Stephen Hawking the gangsta rapper. -- Baron Earl






Bob Hope Still Not Dead -- Tjames Madison

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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