Build Date: Tue Apr 16 19:50:16 2024 UTC

All the yelling for peace is murder on my hangover
-- Johnny Royale

Brain-Dead Judge Watch

...because the law is not always on your side.

Pigdog Journal Articles

2003-01-22

The Music Never Stops
Back in July, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) subpoenaed Verizon Internet Services, Inc. to submit the name of an Internet user who, in one day, downloaded more than 600 songs. On Tuesday, January 21, Judge John D. Bates of the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia ordered Verizon to comply with the RIAA subpoena. Cary Sherman of the RIAA says the industry group looks forward to contacting the Verizon subscriber, "so we can let them know that what they are doing is illegal." -- Miss Conduct

2002-04-19

Have Sex? Get Stoned!
Wait, isn't that out of order? -- The Compulsive Splicer

2002-02-05

Wicked Witch Glimmers Clue
Amidst the recent dramas of killing friendly Afghans, letting corporate bastardos shred evidence, and watching politicos forget they got bought, a little bomblet snuck under the radar and almost made me drop my drink. -- Dunkin' Idaho

2000-11-07

Score This One As a Win
Finally, a verdict that makes sense. The 9th Circuit Court ruled today that a prosecutor can't tell a jury that god wants the defendant dead in a death penalty case. -- JRoyale

2000-10-28

Sleeping Lawyer is A-OK in Texas
I sometimes wonder why they even bother with trials in Texas in death penalty cases. They should just shoot the defendant and save all the time and money spent on a trial. -- JRoyale

2000-04-04

Fascist Judge Stomps on YOUR Freedom to Innovate with Steel-Spiked Jackboots!!!!!!
April 3, 2000 will go down in history as the darkest day EVER for free-market ethics and values. The Department of Justice has wrapped its clammy claws around the throat of American business, strangling it to DEATH! Hang your head in SHAME, Americans, because we have let the secret One World Government strip away our FREEDOM to INNOVATE! -- Mr. Bad

2000-04-03

Man Gets 16 Years for Stealing a Snickers Bar
A man in Texas received a 16 year prison sentence for stealing a Snickers candy bar. On previous occasions he had stolen a bag of Oreos and a tool box. -- Baron Earl

2000-03-27

Do-It-Yourself Legal System
Hey, sports fan! Have you just received a jury summons because you made the mistake of registering to vote in the 2000 primaries? And now you're all bummed and trying to make up an imaginary ill relative so you can squirm out of this odious task? Well, kwitcher squirmin', Worm Boy! This is your chance to MAKE SOME LAWS. -- Mr. Bad

2000-02-04

It Takes 2 to Tango, But Only 1 To Be An Asshole
A Maryland judge is being investigated for possible violation of the state's code of judicial conduct after telling an 11-year-old sexual assault victim that "it takes two to tango." Uh, somebody rent Lolita a few to many times? -- Negative Nancy

1999-01-09

It's a Microsoft World
Microsoft's anti-trust trial found experts warning the judge of "A Microsoft World." Duh! El Destino spells it out for the judge with the inevitable Disneyland song parody -- El Destino

Offsite links shared by staff writers

1999-06-10

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