Build Date: Fri Oct 4 11:10:05 2024 UTC
Our Man Zach: genial, Guinness-swilling Schweinhund since ere pig met dog
-- Thom 'Starky' Stark
Networking In a Post-Apocalyptic World
1999-10-20 11:23:01
Hey, monkey boy! Know what the RAVENING HORDES are going to do with a scrawny good-for-nothing like you after Y2K? They're going to ROAST you and EAT you. Damn straight! That is... unless you find some way to make yourself useful.
Face it, TECHHEAD, your only skills in life involve 100Base-T, IRQs, and Capture-the-Flag fragfests. But, COME the APOCALYPSE, wide-area networks are going to be few and far between (har har), since there will be A) no electricity B) no telcos and C) a general lack of enterprise commitment and leadership in the realm of information technology strategies.
Sure, maybe back in 1997 you could have started gaining some REAL skills, like how to wrangle burros or how to make a windmill. But we're 2-1/2 months before the millenium, BUB, and frankly you've never shown much aptitude with those mitts of yours, anyways. Face it: you don't have time to learn to survive on your own.
So the question becomes: when the horsemen clad in blood-crusted furs descend on the remnants of your suburban village, how can you appear USEFUL to your new BARBARIAN OVERLORD? The answer is simple, my man: PACKET RADIO!
Packet radio is a networking technology that uses ham radio frequencies to make them COMPUTERS talk to each other over long distances -- without the heavy equipment needed for land lines or microwave or satellite (if those things are still up). You can build a perfectly workable BATTLE INFORMATION INFRASTRUCTURE with equipment that you looted from the charred remains of the Radio Shack (TM) at the Olde Towne Centre.
Packet is an excellent technology. You should get licensed TODAY -- I'm working on mine right now. Join the POST-APOCALYPTIC TECHNO-ELITE: learn PACKET RADIO!
T O P S T O R I E S
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Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
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Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
