Okay, the world actually DID end

by Miles Standish

2000-01-07 17:30:07

Y2K Madness

Doesn't it seem spooky that there weren't any millenium cults? I mean, all kinds of crazy people are in the world and still, none of them seemed to do anything apocalyptic. And what about like Europe and Africa where they didn't care about the whole Y2K bug fix thing and left it be. There's all these reassuring news articles that Y2K didn't do much. Why is that? Well, actually, we just didn't want you to flip out.

So, we were really busy dealing with the dinosaurs, flaming angels, survivalists, disease-resistant bacteria, killer bees, kudzu, swamp rats, Kung Fu monks, ebola, economic crashes, Luddites, nuclear meltdowns, failed utilities, returning Messiahs, heroin mutants, seven-winged kings, Four Horsemen, Ragnarok wave horse bushes, stapling accidents, and sqrat attacks that we realy didn't want to also deal with you flipping out.

We know how you, more than the rest of the people we know, are really touchy and sensitive about this stuff, and we just put up some happy articles on your local computer (since the Internet was eaten by four-dimension telepathic cockroaches) that would make it seem like everything is fine.

Honestly, we decided it would be better to break it to you once we're through this crisis.

We did it because we love you.

Check it out yourself

yungstud@pigdog.org