Build Date: Thu Apr 24 07:30:35 2025 UTC
Some of us figured out in the 1950s that blacklists were a bad idea. Some of us have that lesson still ahead of us.
-- John Gilmore
Calm Before the Storm
1999-12-24 14:16:57
Well, T'is the Day Before Christmas, and it's probably a good thing that you're dicking around on the Web rather than stressing over last-minute XMas shopping like I am. Enjoy it while you can, because next week is going to SUCK.
After tomorrow, the Great Unwashed will FINALLY start concentrating en masse about Y2K. There's only 7 days left, after all, which is just on the horizon of America's attention span. And, HELL, the nightly news isn't going to be talking about anything else for a while.
Despite the fact that the media's emphasis for "last-minute plans" for Y2K is on finding a good party or restaurant to welcome the new year, I suspect that a lot more people will start listening to that queasy feeling in their bellies instead and go on a survival-buying spree. Water, dry food, gasoline, generators, cooking fuel, etc. will probably be harder to find next week than they will in Feb 2000. I bet a lot of people who normally wouldn't care are going to get irate about 5-day waiting periods for guns and bans on sales of ammo around New Year's. You can't get armed before Y2K, folks. Just in case you were wondering.
I've had plans for about 18 months to write an article entitled "Panic Now and Beat the Rush -- A Procrastinator's Guide to Y2K." Well, it's too late for that. Panic now and JOIN the rush is more like it. Those folks who've got any brains in their heads are all huddling in mountain cabins listening to their hand-cranked shortwaves and smugly Reading the Signs. The rest of us have got to deal with the shitstorm, I guess. Ugh! See you at the riots, eh?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
