iPad2 brings new possibilities for porn
2011-03-02 21:34:46

Would You Like Fetish With That?
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.
-- Christopher Walken


All of San Francisco's most cutting-edge masturbators gathered at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts today for the unveiling of the iPad2 from Apple, a device which promises to revolutionize porn creation and delivery.

With cameras on both the front and back the iPad2 can allow a chronic masturbator to capture both their facial expressions and dangly bits at the same time. When editing the footage with iMovie the junk pumper can quickly switch from one shot to the other with no loss of continuity. By putting all of the pieces together in one easy-to-use platform Apple has cut the time from bodily-release to RedTube-release to a matter of minutes.

The accessories industry hasn't missed a beat either, as manufacturers simultaneously release over 10 different fluid-proof cases just today.

Meanwhile porn industry engineers continue to embrace HTML5 in an effort to get porn from their servers to your iPad. Steve Jobs may want to keep the iPad porn-free, but there's a larger effort being spent to provide free porn.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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