Build Date: Fri Mar 29 11:10:04 2024 UTC

I fucking hate sunrises.
-- Negative Nancy

Der Bra Ist Krazy!

by Tjames Madison

1999-06-17 14:25:33

Want a new look for your sagging fraulein? No problem! Buy her the stick-on bra, the latest craze in Germany, the country that gave you Col. Klink, Kraftwerk and the Volkswagen Jetta.

Straight from "the hot beaches of Brazil" comes this one-piece wonder, a "bra" that literally sticks to the breasts using the amazing power of suction, and it's "set to drive men on beaches, in public baths and along German lakes crazy."

"The Tropical Bra" is selling like hotcakes in chilly Deutschland; one woman reports she's selling 20 bras a day to horny businessmen and their curious wives. The bra consists of two small pieces of soft tissue which feel like paper, and the bra is held fast to the Teutonic breast by a "skin-friendly adhesive" in the lining. According to news reports, "both patches are attached onto the breasts and the beach fun can begin."

"One bra I even sold to a man!" said shopkeeper Anja Quint. One caveat: the bra is only good for one use, as it is effectively destroyed upon removal.

Those Germans are always thinking up something!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

szithead@pigdog.org

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