Build Date: Sun Jan 18 08:50:05 2026 UTC
I just think it's important to note that nobody needs to have special equipment on hand if the opportunity to piss on Mitch McConnell's grave suddenly comes up.
-- Frankenstein Jones
Wanna Play Quake For Real?
1999-10-07 12:09:09
Spock Mountain Research Labs strives to bring you the best in modern hillbilly technology. But even we realize that you have to get out of the house now and then. And what better of a reason, than a chance to play Quake for real?
Now obviously, we cannot expect you to carry around a loaded rocket launcher. We feel these are weapons that paint-gun wielding wanna-be-special-forces-jailhouse-punk pussies use. Instead, we recommend building and using the BFPG 9000. This complex puppy of high self destruction will shoot a potato faster than the speed of sound, not only putting starch in Commie Ivan's belly, but through him and who ever was unfortunate enough to stand behind him in the next county.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
