Build Date: Wed Apr 15 00:10:07 2026 UTC

Nobody runs any real applications anyway. The whole purpose of personal computing is to tinker with shit. Everybody else (who isn't tinkering) is only using their Pentium Professionals as glorified typewriters. Applications, ha ha ha.
-- Ratsnatcher

Enter the Seedy World of Rocket Belt Ownership

by Miles Standish

1999-08-10 10:45:07

As any maiden-kidnapping, wax-moustache-twiddling blackguard will tell you, the secret to success is removing the powers of those who would be your undoing. Especially when Rocket Boy is involved.

[Mr. Bad adds: This is a GREAT story about Bad People of the Future. They invented this crazy ROCKET BELT and but they were all mad at each other and got in a big HAMMER fight in their lab. WITH hammers! They were HITTING each other with HAMMERS!

So then one guy disappears with the ROCKET BELT, and the other guy hasn't seen the ROCKET BELT since! And it's like ROCKET BELT madness, looking for the ROCKET BELT!! In HOUSTON! Which has lots of rockets, so it's an easy place to hide a rocket belt and shit.

Mad scientists! Hammer brawling! ROCKET BELTS! If only this story had some ABSINTHE in it, it'd have EVERYTHING!]

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

oarsman@pigdog.org

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