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Study Says: Sniff Old Lady Armpits to Make You Feel REAL GOOD!!
1999-07-01 01:46:39

Weird Science
We've gotta get out of here. I have The Fear.
-- Dr. Gonzo


Okay, so what kind of SICK scientists came up with a study like this one?? Don't these people have anything better to do?!!

Here's the scoop: These freaky scientist guys decided to make a bunch of poor college students smell nasty, sweaty, bacteria-soaked gauze pads from under OLD LADY ARMPITS!!! AHHHHHGH!! In fact, they had to smell all kinds of nasty, sweaty, disgusting gauze pads from all kinds of nasty, sweaty people.

Best of all, the students JUST LOVED the smell of the old ladies! No kidding. Apparently, it lifted their moods whenever they sniffed old lady smell.

Now, I always thought there was nothing worse than Old People Smell, but I guess not. Remember going to the old folks home and crinkling your nose cuz it smelled SO DAMN BAD? Or hugging that old aunt, and holding your breath so you wouldn't have to catch a whiff of Old People Smell? Well, I guess Old People Smell is good afterall...

Feeling down? Sniff an old lady! Old People Smell (OPS): better than Prozac.

Like a fine wine, it only gets better with time.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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