Reliable, Balanced Entheogen Information

     
 

Last Chance for Catastrophe
2000-05-01 17:09:13


Weird Science
 
Anne Coulter is a character of a parody of a comic book villain. There's no Godwin Law on the intertubes for invoking Coulter, but there should be.
-- Johnny Royale

 

Well, SURE, Y2K came and went like a gentle lamb. Everything is running along just hunky-dory, civilization didn't collapse, and no one is rioting in the streets, more or less. But don't despair! Survivalist leaders say there's ONE MORE CHANCE for total destruction!

This Friday, May 5 2000, will be the occasion for an interesting (if unglamorous) astronomical event: the Great Conjunction. This is when 5 planets plus the Sun and the Moon will line up together in the sky. OK, the alignment's pretty haphazard -- they'll be spread out about 26 degrees of arc -- but that's pretty darn good in astronomical terms.

Unfortunately, it's not going to be some monumentous "2001" coolio space picture that you can see from your Junior G-Man binoculars or anything like that. Whenever you get the Sun involved in these kind of events, it kind of takes center stage and drowns everything else out.

So what's the big whoop? Why would the Great Conjunction be of interest to anyone besides Jeanne Dixon and a handful of other newspaper astrologers, as well as the various Leos who are going to have really great sex that day, since Saturn, Jupiter, Mars and Mercury will all be packed together into their Love house?

Well, some crazy people -- myself among them -- believe that the awesome gravitational energies exerted by these heavenly bodies (the planets, not the Leos) are going to rip apart the Earth in a blaze of lava and steam like a red-hot orange. OK, well, that's pretty much the most dramatic prediction -- a lot of people just think that the gravity will have an effect on the tides that will destroy all major port cities. Sort of a let-down, since it doesn't involve the peeling of the Earth's crust, but still lots of fun destruction.

Of course, the downer Old Farmer's Almanac says none of this is going to happen. But who cares!? It's an opportunity for panic and terror. Go enjoy the Great Conjunction today!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

xxxlover@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Sex Crimes of the X-Men
by El Destino

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

05-17

Master Squid

Man killed by crossbow in Germany led 'medieval cult'

05-17

El Destino

Crazy bitcoin-trading "seasteader" forced to run by the Thai government

03-30

Flesh

Alex Jones Admits To Being Psychotic.

03-30

Flesh

Alex Jones Throws Temper Tantrum After Being Laughed At.

03-30

Flesh

So what's the time? It's time to get ill! Alex Jones Smokes Some Kind. Gets Really Paranoid

03-23

El Destino

The Las Vegas Strip now has robot bartenders

03-06

Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson

02-15

Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE

01-17

Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders

01-11

Baron Earl

CES claims dildo is not a robot

More Quickies...