Build Date: Mon Apr 6 13:40:06 2026 UTC
I really shouldn't have gone to the game as I had so much work to do around the house, but it was nice to actually see the sun - it is yellow you know.
-- Johnnie Royale
Beowulf Underground Subverts Decent Way of Life
1999-05-15 14:11:27
The Beowulf Underground is an evil subversive group bent on destroying everything we hold dear and sacred as computerists. Instead of nice, compartmentalized machines that send terse and appropriate messages over thin wires, they want to have big MONGOLIAN CLUSTERFUCK computers with Aqualube and Free Love and Open Source and gooey money shots of data splurting EVERYWHERE. To them I say, Beaujolais!
Beowulf is the coolest thing to come down the pike in a long time. Hell, in terms of changing the world, I think it might even be more important than Linux. Beowulf is a clustering technology, meaning you can tie together a whole bunch of computers and they will look like one computer, with the combined strength of all the components.
In other words, you and I can take out of our closets all those lame dusty old computers with the long gray beards and bad coughs and the rheumatiz and put them all together into a brand new sexy SUPERMODEL computer with Stairmaster thighs and stunning white teeth. Wee-haw!
Clustering of computers is real cool. But Beowulf is OPEN SOURCE clustering, making it super-extra fancy cool. Unfortunately, Beowulf has come out of the academic environment, making any documentation about it REAL BORING. That's where the Beowulf Underground comes in. It's a cool new Web site that has lots of news and info about Beowulf. I must say, it is Da Bomb.
In fact, we're going to build a giant UBERCLUSTER with, like, 2

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY! (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)