Build Date: Fri Oct 9 19:31:03 2026 UTC
Hold the conference in France: you can drink alcohol publicly, even near
a school, you can piss on the street, you can argue with cops, you can
teach Darwin's theory of evolution and you can have sex in public places.
-- Stephane Bortzmeyer
Bing Crosby Music Used to Torture Teenagers!!
1999-07-08 18:14:53
Geez, it's hard to be a Bad Kid these days, everyone is out to get ya in one way or another!
Australians are now using Bing Crosby music as a deterrent against pesky loitering teenagers. A mall in Wollongong, plays Bing's classic "My Heart Is Taking Lessons" over, and over, and over, again at TOP volume in order to drive the poor kiddies crazy.
This tactic seems to be working as hardly anyone could put up with such torture for long. Another cruelty employed by the mall is the use of pink fluorescent lights that highlight pimples, just to make life a bit more miserable for the little punks.
These policies seem to be popular with the regular Old People shoppers.
"The music keeps them [teenagers] away," one shopper says. "It makes it safer as we walk up to the car park."
But before you start to get the idea that Australians are SMART or anything, it should be noted that the convenience chain, 7-11, pioneered this technology. Store locations across the country have speakers outside that blare classical music all day long to scare Bad Kids away.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Tastes like key lime pie, gets you hammered like nobody's business: Introducing the Key Lime Spocktail! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
