Build Date: Fri Jul 11 14:33:41 2025 UTC
GIVE UP. YOUR BODY IS DECOMPOSING AS YOU READ THIS MESSAGE. THE PROCESS IS IRREVERSIBLE!
-- Tjames Madison
Live 365 -- What the hell are they thinking?
1999-07-06 20:45:05
Man, so Live 365 has some of the killerest Internet radio stations ever. Like, real real good stuff (I like Fastwater myself). But check this out: they want to give you 100 Mb of Web space FREEE!
FREEE STUFF!!! What's going on with this GODDAMNED WEB!?!?! Why can you get so much free stuff!?!
100 Mb of hard disk space is just too good to pass up. You could use it for backing up your PORN COLLECTION or all your crazy MP3's! Or whatever! I mean, Jesu! 100 Mb!
Look! I created one! It's right here: HERE HERE HERE!. It's only about 500 bytes, a TOTAL WASTE of my 100Mb of space, but WHO CARES! It's all MINE!
I even used my MUJmail address to sign up! So, like, if I put up 100Mb of slanderous PORN and MP3's about Tsutomu Shimomura, he would have to chase me through the AETHER across TWO CONTINENTS in a HEART-POUNDING RACE through a virtual maze of hidden identities and FALSE LEADS! Perhaps I, the PERPETRATOR, would NEVER BE FOUND!
On second thought, that would be BAD and WRONG. Only a BAD HAKR D00D would do something like that, and I'm sure that the good people at Live 365 would kick my ass real hard and take all my porn off the Web real fast. So I won't do that, I promise.
But check out Live365 anyways! Take advantage while you CAN!!!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
