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Top Ten Reasons Morrissey Canceled a Show

by Baron Earl

2017-11-06 22:38:22

How many shows of his U.S. Tour can Morrissey complete before he cancels one? We now know the answer is THREE. Morrissey just started his Fall 2017 U.S. tour and managed to complete three entire shows before canceling his show at the Vina Robles Amphitheatre in Paso Robles, California at the last minute.

Here are the Top Ten Reasons why Morrissey has canceled a show...

  1. It was cold.
  2. Wearing a jacket makes me look large enough to be well-nourished.
  3. A foul penne pasta and toe-ma-toe dish hath laid me low.
  4. I didn't want to leave my nice warm room.
  5. I felt a chill in the air, as if Death had passed near.
  6. I just didn't feel that I had enough energy to play for 45 minutes, insult the town and the venue, then walk off the stage.
  7. In case you didn't know, my girlfriend is still in a coma. It's serious!
  8. Pernicious anemia.
  9. The marshmallows in my hot chocolate were too large.
  10. Heaven knows I'm miserable... now it's your turn.

    75 year old Brian Wilson has also played Vina Robles when it was cold. In the middle of his set he asked for a jacket and kept on playing.

    Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

    kunst@pigdog.org

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