Build Date: Fri May 9 09:30:11 2025 UTC
fuck you very much with a gun.
-- rotten elf
Time To Kick Up a Shitstorm!
2000-03-09 12:19:40
Howdy. Want t'hear some fine ass-kickin' Country music?
Undeniably, without Country Western music, thar'd not be Rock & Roll, ah reckon. It's unfo'tunate thet this hyar true musical fo'm of America has been glutted wif retarded inbreeds who reckon country moosic is by doin' a bad, watered-down imitashun of Lyynrrd Skynrrd (which th' cow-fuckers in Marketin' will tell yo' is called "yo'ng country"). Tune into enny C&W radio stashun. Th' chances of hearin' Waylon Jenning, Johnny Cash o' enny other of th' thousan's of ban's & indivijools playin' tradishunal (i.e. REAL) country music is about th' same as yo' bein' hit on th' haid by a meteo'ite bouncin' off th' surface of Pluto.
Thank Gawd fo' th' Internet.
Bypassin' all th' various marketin' sueyts, lovers of music is puttin' togither Internet radio shows. In this hyar particular case, Mr. Lucky & Gus sarve up hot & steamah servin's of C&W moosic on their show, Th' DoubleWide Hayride Show. Th' kind yo''d speck t'hear eff'n yo' were walkin' into honky-tonk on some back-road in Montana. So eff'n yo've gotten tired of th' blan' & bo'in' cookie-cutter crap put out by th' likes of Limp Muzik, tune in t'th' Hayride Show fo' proof thet thar's still fine moosic lef' in these here parts.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
