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Everybody has to call me "Bluto" from now on.
-- Mr. Bad

Metallica To Fans- Fuck You!

by Flesh

2000-04-14 15:33:42

It should come as no surprise to anyone. But in case you haven't heard the news, former Heavy Metal ass-kickers and current sellout kings, Metallica is suing Napster.

Ever since their so-called Black Album, Metallica has been going down faster than a DC 10. Every year, they've found a brand new way to sell out, and losing more of their fan base that have been following them from the very beginning. With the release of their last literally music-made-for-elevators album, S&M, I knew I wasn't alone in proclaiming that Metallica was no longer a Heavy Metal band, but just another pile of rust to be tossed on the slagheap.

What I did not expect was their willing demonstration to show the world just how much more they were willing to sellout. They are trying to destroy the very tools that made them the Metal Gods they once were.

When Metallica first started out, Heavy Metal was dominated by spandex-sporting' lipstick-wearing, big haired girlyboy bands like Ratt, Cinderella, Poison, and so on. The only way that Metallica gained it's notoriety, was through fans trading tapes with each other. And while the band didn't make a cent, their reputation spread like wildfire. Now, decades later, Metallica wants to stomp the very tools out of existence that not only would keep better bands from being heard, but would give fans a chance to hear how bad they really are now, without having to plunk down an obscene amount of cash.

My prediction: Metallica will continue to operate under the illusion that their music kicks ass, and that no matter how corporate they get, true metal fans will still like them. They will tour with The Backstreet Boys, and sue and sue any fans caught singing their old material for "wanton vandalism of our artistic endeavors".

Don't think it won't happen? Just wait.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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