Build Date: Wed Nov 19 19:30:11 2025 UTC
What have you done for us lately? Face it Chachi, you're a one ladder wonder and you're as stale as a two week old cod fish.
-- Johnnie Royale
Texas is The Reason
2000-01-11 11:18:20
The tale you are about to read will shock and horrify you. It is a story of a person intentionally running over another person with a two-ton Caddy, in cold blood, in front of dozen's of witnesses. The fact that this is a true story is bad enough. What will curdle your blood is that it gets far worse.
Dateline: December 12, 1997 - Amarillo Texas
A group of Punks had had enough of the knuckle-dragging jocks, who in typical primate-like behavior attacked anything that differed from what they perceived as "normal." A massive fight ensued, resulting in one Dustin Camp deciding to use his car as a weapon. Camp ran down a kid named Brian Deneke with enough force to crush his skull & chest, as well as rip the collarbone clean out of his body.
Now here's where it gets worse.
You would expect that with all the witnesses (both in the car and the in parking lot) that this would be an open & shut case. And because it's Texas, Dustin Camp would be spending the rest of his life trying to find the happy place, as his pudgy, pink, hairless anus is invaded and filled with the backed-up semen of a hundred fellow inmates. Instead, local sleazeball and Satan's chief cocksucker & jism-drinker, Warren L. Clark not only got the murder charge dropped down to manslaughter, but made it seem like the victim actually had it coming. I should also mention that Dustin Camp didn't spend a single day behind bars whatsoever.
Currently, Dustin Camp is walking around a free man, probably unrepentant of his crime. His friends cannot understand why people point at him in the street, and why he has to endure the various court-assigned limitations that come with probation. He can't go hunting, go to a party, and has to be home by 10PM every night.
After all, he said he was sorry, what more do you want?

T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)