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I applaud the coming apocalypse.
-- Mr. Bad
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We've all had those times where a certain substance is
needed for one reason or another, but none can be found.
Now, thanks to The Internet and some very enterprising
entrepreneurs in a European country, all dry spells are a
thing of the past!
The High Shop, located in the Netherlands, will mail to your doorstep any of
the products contained in their online catalog, at a very reasonable price. Not
only that, but they'll even send you free samples! Sure, there are a couple of
minor catches (AdultID check, etc) but for the service they are providing to
the world, it's worth it. Followup: A concerned Pigdog reader writes to us:
Not that I have "Adult
Check" or anything, but isn't The High Shop(ppe?) the place that sells "herbal
intoxicants" of a entirely non-cannibus, non-illegal, and non-functional
nature? I could be wrong on this, but I'd hate to see PigDog Journal be sucked by
rip-off artists. We here in Spock Mountain Research
Labs can understand your concern. In the particular political climate that we
are forced to live in, anything that's fun and/or intoxicating is either
outlawed or highly regulated. But what we have found through our
studies is that there are many other ways that one can obtain a state of
intoxication without the aid of well-known recreational substances. For
example: you can take a trip down to The Mission, and purchase an ounce of
Betel nut for a couple of bucks from an Indian grocery shop on Valencia. There
are also substances such as Yage, Nutmeg, Calamus Root, Jimson Weed, and enough
others to fill an entire book. Our crack chemical team is devoted to exploring
all of these, and sharing with you the results. In this particular case, yes, those substances that they do ship to the
United States comply with the codes and legalities of the United States- but
that does not mean this is a con. If you are in doubt, there are a few things
you can do: - Take advantage of their free sample. If it proves to be ineffective or has
any dubious strings attached to it, let us know and we will dispatch our crack
team of eliminators who occupy a remote corner of a forgotten Eastern European
country to deal with them.
- Do your own research and let us know of new and/or wild substances that
should be brought to our attention. We will be more than happy to dispatch
these with the highest priority to our staff, who will then feed them to our
endless stock of runaways to replicate any results you may have had.
- Grow or manufacture your own. Not only will this be both profitable to your
mind and well being, but you will find that the quality is always known and it
will be far less of a con job than, say, attending a renaissance
fair.
Thanks for writing. |
