Build Date: Mon Sep 9 14:50:04 2024 UTC
If there's one thing Christianity is all about, it's sexy names.
-- Crackmonkey
Drugs on AOL!
1999-01-08 12:00:00
Drugs! AOL? E-commerce just got more interesting, says El Destino.....
Ax-grinding AOL parody by El Destino about buying drugs on AOL
I really hated AOL's mandatory pop-up ads hawking credit cards or a switch of long-distance carrier.
But then I read this headline in Reuters Business Securities.
America Online to let members buy drugs
Woo-hoo! Now I can't *wait* to see the pop-up ads the next time I log on....
HELLO, BOB17523. Would you like to purchase some QUAALUDES(TM)?
These pharmaceutical-quality depressants come in attractive chewable tablets, inducing a physical lethargy bordering on a mild stupor. It's sloppy drunk in a pill! Catch the wave!
Would you like to purchase some QUAALUDES(TM?)
Yes, thanks! No, thank you.
E-commerce at its finest!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
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An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
