Build Date: Tue Nov 10 01:20:38 2026 UTC
I'm on speed now. It's nice.
-- Head-Freezin' Gene
Jonesin' for that Indium High?
2005-11-12 18:39:28
Do you suffer from "ADD, blood pressure, stress-related problems, body weight, autism" or aging? Of course you do, and that's why you need the Liquid Indium Supplement from Kornax Enterprises.
Mmmm . . . indium. Element number 49. Boron's weird country cousin. According to Kornax, "It is not found in food or water; in fact, although it is not ordinarily found in the human body at all . . . " it gets you high . How could you resist getting wasted on the Liquid Chi program (including Vulcan's Treasure)?
But while you're on that indium high, you may sense that your brain tissue is softening. Well it must be, but don't worry, Liquid Germanium Supplement will take care of that. Your grey matter will be hard as a rock in no time.
If that's not enough for you, check out the Liquid Sodium Supplement. Did you know that "While sodium chloride is a compound that is unusable by the body, sodium is essential and one of the most misunderstood minerals in the body." Ain't that the truth.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
