Build Date: Thu Mar 28 19:20:08 2024 UTC
A rich person once sent me some porn, as a kind of thank you. Lemme tell you, rich people's porn is different from the porn the rest of us get.
-- Patient Joab
Brainwash With A Firehose
1999-09-22 15:41:35
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill!
Anyone who's been on a serious drinking binge with friends will realize that there are just some things that should never ever be mixed together. And yet, if you add in just one more ingredient to the concoction, it's perfectly acceptable. This is one of those times. We discovered this drink (originally called "memory loss") while on an underground pubcrawl in Berkeley, California. It's sole reason for existence is to cause you to pass out, black out, or drive the porcelain bus for a few hours. How wasteful! We decided to do something about it. It now has a new name, and a better function.
It should also be noted that you might want to do this at home, as that it has a tendency to make want to take your clothes off. This is not a good thing in public when you are busy talking with trees... which will in all likelihood happen. We also don't advise drinking more than one!
Ingredients
Prepare mushrooms by boiling 2- 2/12 grams per person, boil for 8 minutes, in as much water as it takes to fill a coffee mug. Let cool to room temperature. Pour the result through a wire strainer and press on the mushrooms with the bottom of a spoon to get all of the moisture out (if you are hungry, you can eat the mushrooms). Pour into a tall glass. Add in Bourbon, Rum, and Tequila. Drink quickly. Lock your doors, strap yourself in and enjoy the ride which will hit you in five minutes or less.
(Thanks to enigma for the shroom tea recipe.)
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)