Kudzu Kooler
2005-05-17 09:10:59

Spocktail of the Week
This made me laugh so hard that gin came squirting out of my nose. Oddly enough, I was drinking lemonade at the time.
-- doctor obnox son of a bitch


According to a new Harvard-affiliated study, taking tablets made from kudzu makes people drunker than just drinking alone. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, Pigdog Bevertology Labs™ obtained some raw kudzu leaves and created our latest Spocktail of the Week™: the Kudzu Kooler.

To make a Kudzu Kooler you'll need:

  • 1 pound of fresh kudzu roots and flowers (fresh kudzu makes the best Kudzu Koolers)
  • 2 pints of Southern Comfort
  • A handful of fresh mint
  • Ice
  • A Vita-Mix blender

Thoroughly wash the kudzu roots and flowers and get the bugs and dirt out. Put the kudzu, Southern Comfort and mint leaves into the blender and turn it on. Keep blending until you have a smooth puree, then add the ice until it gets to the consistency of a daiquiri.

Drink up. Our research shows that you should feel twice as drunk than if you'd just drank the two pints of Southern Comfort by itself, which is so close to the Harvard-affiliated study's 1.944 times more drunk figure that we feel that even more research is needed.

If you undertake a kudzu-related bevertology study, please send us your results. We will publish updates as they come in.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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