O.R.C.
2002-06-23 12:25:57
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach.

I believe I am on to something. What follows are expanded field notes and guidelines for a project that you may be interested in.
It looks like we have an organic system of control, a self-regulating ratio, and the possibility of a proper Beverage. The taste of Robitussen (sub Nyquil) is supremely repulsive -- IN STANDARD DOSES. However, added as you would grenadine to a pleasant Tequila Sunrise, and, my esteemed mentors, we have something interesting.
I will attempt to submit a full report; should mental climate prohibit such, please be advised:

INGREDIENTS:
PREPARATION:
DRINKING:
These are my preliminary findings. I hope they have been useful to you to some degree; I owe PDJ at least that.

I assure you this is my last entry on this topic, PDJ; while I am loathe to presume to partake of your valuable time and that of the undoubtedly preoccupied SMRL staff on this fine Saturday, I am nonetheless compelled to submit my final conclusion regarding this discovery.
Please note the time at which I am writing: 8:28 AM Saturday morning. After extensive testing of the O.R.C. (Organic Ratio Control) Beverage well into the pre-dawn hours, I finally succumbed to sleep: a hard-earned and ill-prepared-for collapse and slumber, fully clothed and bespectacled, Squarepusher CD blaring.
I awoke about 1/2 hour ago, expecting to find, feel, and remember the usual horrors of a long night spent with unholy mixtures; but no -- By Jove I feel great and my room is no more molested than usual.
To summarize:

Conclusion: Res Ipsa Loquitur.
Thank you for your time PDJ, and my heartfelt thanks to SMRL, without whose inspiration and exciting Beverotology I'd probably hate school.
yrs,
yehat

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)