Build Date: Wed May 21 14:50:20 2025 UTC
Unix is meant to be A MONSTROSITY.
-- Ratsnatcher
The Inattentive Beachcomber
2002-01-29 21:44:03
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia.
At least we think she tested it and survived long enough to write it up. (That's one of the rules we have here at SMRL forks to ensure that we only bring you the finest cocktails on this or any planet)
Johnnie Royale - Senior Beverotologist - Spock Mountain Research Labs.
I just got back from the FullMoon Party at Hat Rin. It's 7pm and I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk from last night.... err this morning, uh... this afternoon? Anyway, having been very much spoiled by attending Burning Man, I wasn't sure how much fun I could have with 7,000 fucked-up backpackers and 12 hours of thumpa-thumpa music.
Luckily, I was able to whip up a batch of The Inattentive Beachcomber -- enough to keep ICBINJ and myself bobbin along till well after dawn. Only I'm not sure what happened to him after that. I assume he'll wash up somewhere....
- 1 bottle Thai-style s00per Redbull energy drink
- 1 Dexedrine or Ritalin tablet [3 capsules Metabolift maybe substituted]
- 3 shots Mekong Whiskey or other local hooch
- 1 cup pineapple juice ice from purified water
- 1 straw
- 1 sandbucket, clean.
- Vitamin B tablets (optional)
Pop the tablet(s). Wash down with plenty of water and maybe a few vitamin Bs. Mix all other ingredients in a sandbucket. Write the name of your guesthouse across you chest in fluorescent paint, tape a 100 Bhat note to the inside of you thigh [taxi fare], and head out to the beach. Try and avoid the Germans. I know, they're everywhere, but really, try.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
