Build Date: Thu Apr 30 15:10:12 2026 UTC
I am not Spock.
-- Leonard Nimoy
The Inattentive Beachcomber
2002-01-29 21:44:03
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia.
At least we think she tested it and survived long enough to write it up. (That's one of the rules we have here at SMRL forks to ensure that we only bring you the finest cocktails on this or any planet)
Johnnie Royale - Senior Beverotologist - Spock Mountain Research Labs.
I just got back from the FullMoon Party at Hat Rin. It's 7pm and I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk from last night.... err this morning, uh... this afternoon? Anyway, having been very much spoiled by attending Burning Man, I wasn't sure how much fun I could have with 7,000 fucked-up backpackers and 12 hours of thumpa-thumpa music.
Luckily, I was able to whip up a batch of The Inattentive Beachcomber -- enough to keep ICBINJ and myself bobbin along till well after dawn. Only I'm not sure what happened to him after that. I assume he'll wash up somewhere....
- 1 bottle Thai-style s00per Redbull energy drink
- 1 Dexedrine or Ritalin tablet [3 capsules Metabolift maybe substituted]
- 3 shots Mekong Whiskey or other local hooch
- 1 cup pineapple juice ice from purified water
- 1 straw
- 1 sandbucket, clean.
- Vitamin B tablets (optional)
Pop the tablet(s). Wash down with plenty of water and maybe a few vitamin Bs. Mix all other ingredients in a sandbucket. Write the name of your guesthouse across you chest in fluorescent paint, tape a 100 Bhat note to the inside of you thigh [taxi fare], and head out to the beach. Try and avoid the Germans. I know, they're everywhere, but really, try.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
