Build Date: Thu Mar 28 10:00:08 2024 UTC

Gentle Reader, The Word will leap on you with leopard man iron claws, it will cut off fingers and toes like an opportunist land crab, it will coil round your thighs like a bushmaster and inject a shot glass of rancid ectoplasm.
-- WSB

The Inattentive Beachcomber

by Negative Nancy

2002-01-29 21:44:03

Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia.

At least we think she tested it and survived long enough to write it up. (That's one of the rules we have here at SMRL forks to ensure that we only bring you the finest cocktails on this or any planet)

Johnnie Royale - Senior Beverotologist - Spock Mountain Research Labs.


I just got back from the FullMoon Party at Hat Rin. It's 7pm and I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk from last night.... err this morning, uh... this afternoon? Anyway, having been very much spoiled by attending Burning Man, I wasn't sure how much fun I could have with 7,000 fucked-up backpackers and 12 hours of thumpa-thumpa music.

Luckily, I was able to whip up a batch of The Inattentive Beachcomber -- enough to keep ICBINJ and myself bobbin along till well after dawn. Only I'm not sure what happened to him after that. I assume he'll wash up somewhere....

  • 1 bottle Thai-style s00per Redbull energy drink
  • 1 Dexedrine or Ritalin tablet [3 capsules Metabolift maybe substituted]
  • 3 shots Mekong Whiskey or other local hooch
  • 1 cup pineapple juice ice from purified water
  • 1 straw
  • 1 sandbucket, clean.
  • Vitamin B tablets (optional)

Pop the tablet(s). Wash down with plenty of water and maybe a few vitamin Bs. Mix all other ingredients in a sandbucket. Write the name of your guesthouse across you chest in fluorescent paint, tape a 100 Bhat note to the inside of you thigh [taxi fare], and head out to the beach. Try and avoid the Germans. I know, they're everywhere, but really, try.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

burton@pigdog.org

T O P   S T O R I E S

Pure and simple as a hammer to the forebrain

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Quickies