Build Date: Thu Dec 18 21:50:13 2025 UTC

After the first glass [of absinthe] you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
-- Oscar Wilde

Hawaiian Headbanger

by Baron Earl

2000-09-20 11:25:33

You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer.

Get a big pitcher, and add, in equal parts:

  • Ice
  • Malibu Rum
  • Appleton Rum
  • Captain Morgan Rum
  • Fruit Punch
  • Odwalla Orange Juice
  • Pineapple Juice

Add a splash of Pina Colada mix. Stir. If you did it right, you now have a mixture that's almost half rum, tastes like coconut fruit punch, and looks like blood mixed with water and milk. Run around and pour into everyone's glass, whether their glass is empty or not. Guzzle the remainder of the pitcher along with a couple of Metabolift pills so you can keep going all night long. Pass out around 5am.

Wake up and do it again.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

zuul@pigdog.org

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