Build Date: Sun Aug 9 21:50:04 2026 UTC
I want my invisible jet, just like Wonder Woman. Does that make me gay?
-- Dag
Swedish Man Names His Rabbit After Spock
1999-03-01 20:30:00
OK, so, there's this guy in Sweden. And he has a rabbit and shit. And he named the rabbit after SPOCK!!!! Isn't that CRAZY?!?! Don't you think? Kinda? OK, fucking give me a break, it's a slow news day.
Hell, it doesn't even count as news per se. This guy hasn't updated his pictures of his rabbit Spock in almost three goddamned years. I don't know much about rabbits but I don't think they live that long. Hell, I saw _Pelle_The_Conqueror_ and they ate a lot of creepy shit in that movie so maybe this guy already ate his rabbit and this is just some SICK TWISTED MEMORIAL to his hapless victim or something like that.
Wait... I just thought of something! Swedes are also big PERVERT SEX FREAKOS, almost as bad as the DUTCH are! Serious! They make all kinds of porno and have sick bad laws that let anybody do anything they want. Like for example it's legal to walk around Sweden TOTALLY NAKED.
Anyways, I was thinking that maybe this SICK SWEDE BASTARD might have done something sick and PERVERTED with his rabbit Spock like SHAVED the poor little thing and then covered it with CRISCO and then SHOVED IT UP HIS ASS. I'm not saying it DID happen, I'm saying it COULD happen. This is a SOCIALLY CONDONED LIFESTYLE CHOICE in Sweden. I saw it on the NEWS, I'm serious! Look at this guy and tell me he's not capable of it. Haha, it's DIFFICULT TO DENY, isn't it?
I've been having a hard time. Xenophobia and vicarious rodent-buggering are all I have left in life. Leave me alone and go look at the goddamned rabbit.

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