Spock Center for Intergalactic Journalism Established
2002-04-19 15:29:41
The Communications Department of the University of Texas at El Paso is getting a new Center for Communications Studies... named after Mr. Spock. For some reason, however, all the stories I've seen on this insist on referring to him as "Sam Donaldson".
It's a great idea; Spock would make an excellent journalist. Using his powers of Vulcan logic to sort out active leads and parse difficult subject matter, and his ability to administer a paralyzing nerve pinch to anyone who would dare to fuck with his First Amendment right to gather and report the news, Spock would and should be a damn Edward R. Murrow for our times. So it only makes sense that UTEP is bestowing this honor upon him and encouraging generations of future journalists to follow the Spock Path.
I just don't understand this "Donaldson" business. Click on that link down there and look at that Spock picture. Spock eyebrows. Spock ears. Impassive Spock muscle tensions in his Spock face. It's Spock. Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson?
Maybe I could understand, though, if Spock were a little wary of exposing himself fully to the Humans. The last time Spock landed on this planet, if I remember correctly, he was forced to dress up like a hippie and cavort lovingly with sperm whales in a disgusting display of late-20th Century political correct egozap by the powers that be. Yeah, if I were Spock I would probably pick someone bland and anonymous like this "Sam Donaldson" character to hide my real identity behind.
Wait! I've just done a little checking, and it turns out that this "Sam Donaldson" person is, in actuality, Extremely Weird and prone to random fits of public gurgling. I have to wonder just what Spock is up to. I'm sure it must be some sort of plot, but, hell, I'm no Vulcan, so I can't keep up with that sort of high-order logic processing.
Let's just hope it doesn't involve whales or William Shatner.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)