Build Date: Wed Aug 13 07:50:08 2025 UTC
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
-- Unknown
French Leapfrog U.S. with Amazing New Toilet Technology
2002-05-13 22:35:26
The French are known for having unique ideas about bathroom hygiene. They invented and still use bidets, now recognized by environmentalists as a superior, earth-friendly solution. Now the French toilet industry has leapfrogged its U.S. counterpart with an amazing toilet that cleans itself.
It's about time someone invented this. Why the fuck am I still getting down on my hands and knees and cleaning my toilet by hand? This is fantastic! It brings me one step closer to my ultimate dream of TOTAL CONVENIENCE. I want one in every room.
The only thing that bothers me is that the French invented it first. This is further proof that America is losing ground in the vital restroom technology sector. The writing has been on the wall ever since the EPA brought new restrictions on flush volume into law during the 1990's. The new toilets, with their pitiful little flushes, were a flop. Consumers held on to their trusty old 3 gallon flushers, or worse bought black market toilets smuggled in over the Canadian border. Consolidation and outsourcing to India further decimated the American toilet R&D community. Today there is not a single opening for Toilet Design Engineer on the Monster.com national job listings.
The manufacturer of this supertoilet even has a pictorial layout of the installation procedure at "Harry's New York Bar" in Paris. Why do you think they chose this particular location to feature on their webpage? The not-so-subtle insinuation is that American bars have horrible, bile-churning toilet hygeine. I'm simultaneously offended by these French swine, yet quietly envious of their bars' sweet-smelling, self-disinfecting, perfectly round toilet bowls. Damn those French!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
