Build Date: Tue Apr 23 17:50:08 2024 UTC

I think I need to develop a new character flaw or two.
-- Johnnie Royale

Andrew Leonard is a Nutless Boob

by Mr. Bad

2001-04-09 13:04:21

Man, what a creep that Andrew Leonard over to the Salon Magazine is. Wickety-wack half-hearted TOOL of the MAN! Listen to my long vent on street demonstrations for Information Freedom.

Dig this crazy article by Andrew Leonard over at the Salon Magazine, which has got me hopping mad:

What a load of couch-potato PAP! I mean, check out this quote:

"Don't march for Napster, or for file-sharing. Not only is it just not worth it, but to do so would be an insult to the people who have marched for causes that represented something a little bit more meaningful than whether or not you can grab the newest Eminem track from the Net without paying for it."

So, no marches allowed again, ever? Unless it's for something at least as meaningful if not more so than, say, desegregation or stopping a war? Is Coretta Scott King going to weep briny tears if people march for information freedom? Christ. Who gave this dink a pen? He's gonna poke his stupid gibbering eye out.

The legacy of previous battles in the streets should not be that we all sit in our homes, afraid to go out and voice our opinions because it might "insult" someone else who's protested before. That's not what fighting for Free Speech is about! Diggity DAMN, people should exercise that right ALL THE TIME, because folks we respect like hell worked real hard to get it and preserve it. March for more parking spaces! March for tastier beer selections! Picket for Esperanto in public schools! Protest a meeting of the dog-fanciers' society! HIT the STREETS, MOBS of AMERICA. Black 6-year-olds were mauled by attack dogs to earn you the right to carry a picket sign -- not exercising that right is the height of obscenity.

Maybe somebody should tell Andrew Leonard, Brilliant Genius Voice of the Fucking Free Software World Why Yes I -AM- Writing A Book Actually Glad You Asked Gar Gar Gar, that freedom is not lost all in one stroke. It's bit by bit, chink by chink, and each little chink seems meaningless, stupid, and unimportant.

Some dipshit loses his funny domain name? No big deal. Content taken off the Web due to legal harassment? Pfft, wasn't that funny anyways. Dorky file-sharing system with intrusive ads and crap music shuts down? Good riddance. Email filtering on the trunk lines? Ha, that's just an urban legend. Some old lady had to give up her seat on the bus? Huh? They're sending advisors, C-rations and pickup trucks to some teeny weeny brown-people country somewhere? So?

And so on, and so on, and so on.

Jesux Peezux, I'm just hopping mad. What does he think *is* an appropriate response to aggressive litigation? More grimy sniveling from a twerp like C. Scott Ananian? "I, John Q. Citizen, do solemnly swear by the oath of the Model Rocketeers' Society to sit down and be quiet and let other people who are smarter and more authoritative than me fight my battles, amen." Christ.

Marching, demonstrating, picketing and protesting are THE way to legitimize opposition. First off, it's the big step of commitment. Are you just gonna sit there and bitch, or are you going to put your money where your mouth is? Just getting off your duff and standing in the middle of the street with a hand-lettered posterboard, walking around like a goon, means you're willing to act like a doofus for what you believe in. Do you care enough to look uncool? That's a lot of caring.

Second, it's NEWSWORTHY. "'Net Grumpy Over Napster Suit" doesn't make good TV. Those folks from channel 4 get real bored pointing a vidcam at a CRT with a Lycos Chat Room message from "loves2fish229" saying "I M REEL MAD ABOT THE NAPSTURR!!!1!!" But weird cyberpunks in leather and crazy guys with Unix beards storming through the streets of San Francisco, to surround and embarass some unwitting combatant hiding behind a shield of anonymity, though? Now THAT is news. Get truck 3 down there now! Send Dianne Dwyer! And see if you can get a shot of some hippy punker girl with no bra on!

But lastly, it's MEET and RIGHT to walk the streets because the fight for information freedom IS parallel to those other battles of yesterday. Highlighting that parallel, even in a semi-mocking way, strikes an important chord in people's minds. It's a way of saying, YES, the fight for online freedom is in some way equivalent with anti-war protests. YES, you can compare it to 60s civil rights. YES, there are important issues at hand, and YES, there are folks who are pissed off about them enough to hit the streets. YES, it matters. YES, Don Marti is Mohandas K. Gandhi on crack. OKAY, that last one went a little too far, but you know what I mean.

But, of course, gutless simpering twats like Andrew Leonard wouldn't know about that. This Fuckin' Guy. This Fuckin' Guy! Look at this Fuckin' Guy!

Smirkin' GIF-usin' alternad00d, tellin' it like it is. Cripes. Did you know they sell those sensitive-guy beards in 5 different gourmet flavors down at Starbucks now? Learn to be a Real Journalist, you goateed HACK!

Man, when folds like an origami crane, he better not bring his resume around the door of PDJ, that's all I got to say.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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