Build Date: Thu Aug 13 23:50:13 2026 UTC
The only questions worth asking today are whether humans are going to have any emotions tomorrow, and what the quality of life will be if the answer is no.
-- Lester Bangs
Canadian Army Developing Combat Super-bras
1999-03-11 01:25:00
Imagine humping 25 miles a day and then having to violently fling yourself into an enemy foxhole or tunnel, wildly stabbing everyone you encounter with your steely bayonet. Imagine doing that every single day for a week--without showering, without changing your clothes. Imagine that you are Canadian, and you have huge tits!
In preparation for its ultimate conflict with the United States, Canadia is re-outfitting its troops. The old colonial-era red coats and "Mounty" uniforms are being updated, and now that women have been heavily recruited into the Canadian armed forces a more rugged alternative to the standard-issue, socialized-civilian brassier is required.
The new Canadian "bullet bras" will keep each breast pointed out to left and right sides, respectively, in order to keep chaffing down to a minimum during frenzied hand-to-hand combat situations and extended marches. Instead of usual thin straps that tend to cut into the shoulder blades under heavy stress, the new Canadian military bras will have the same straps that are used for hand-loading AIM-54 missiles onto F16 fighter jets.
Pretty cool, actually...
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
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The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
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It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
