Build Date: Sun Jul 13 10:22:09 2025 UTC
Ahh, what's the point in trying to explain it to you? It's simpler to just say FUCK YOU.
-- H.R. Pufenstuf
Pigdog Journal Second Annual Christmas Essay Contest
1999-12-22 00:57:06
Hooray! It's that time of year again! The Season of Caring and Sharing! When all the people of the world come together in the Joy of the Season! And Pigdog Journal is so full of MAUDLIN COMMERCIALLY-MANUFACTURED EMOTION and SAPPY SACCHARINE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT that we're having YET ANOTHER Christmas Essay Contest!
Last year's Christmas Essay Contest was a resounding success! You can read the winning Essay, "A Clone's Christmas in Guelph," by clicking the link at the bottom of this page. We also had a super-fantastic runner-up story-essay called "Pagan Christmas". Which you can also go read! MAN, isn't the Web FUCKING FANTASTIC?!
Anyways, this year a BRAND NEW contest is in swing! It's called "the Second Annual Pigdog Christmas Essay Contest," for reasons that should be obvious to even the most casual observer. And YOU can be part of it! All you have to do is write an essay on the following topic:
Then, send the essay to the Pigdog Journal Editors [plain ascii only, please]. We'll review all the entries and choose a winner by Santa Day. Whoopee! But the fun doesn't end there! If you are the winner, you will receive the following fabulous prizes:
So get out those pens and pencils and START WRITING! Submit EARLY and submit OFTEN, because Christmas comes but once a year. Yippity-fuck! Let's make a magazine!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)