Build Date: Sun Jan 18 08:50:06 2026 UTC
I am completely drunk ... Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...
-- Johnnie Royale
Aw Fuck. It's That Time Of The Year Again
1999-12-13 13:58:11
Once again, you've found yourself with a holiday shopping list a mile long. You have no idea what to get for anyone, and all the stores are packed with shoppers with a staving piranha mindset! May we suggest that you let The Stranger be your guide?
Once again, America's finest free paper, The Stranger, has released their annual Christmas gift guide. And as usual, it is heads and tails above all of the others, offering helpful suggestions for the people in your life. This year's categories cover…
- GIFTS FOR THE UNEMPLOYED
- GIFTS FOR PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE
- GIFTS FOR PEOPLE WITH POOR JUDGMENT
- GIFTS YOU CAN BLOW
- GIFTS FOR THE PARANOID
- GIFT FOR THE DEATH ROW INMATE
- GIFTS FOR THE MORBID
No doubt, with their aid, you will be able to find the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop person in your life
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
