Build Date: Tue Sep 29 18:20:13 2026 UTC
Oh, yeah, ok, that well teach me to read pigdog after several Guinnesses.... Err... ok, so I lied... it won't teach me anything
-- Johnnie Royale
Shipley Misses Sex Less Than Expected
1998-11-22 11:44:00
Omni Development president Wil Shipley finds the most difficult part of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins is her unavailability for conversation. Shipley expressed surprise in an on-line essay. "I always assumed that the hardest thing would be the no sex...."
Day Five of Shipley's on-line journal sheds new light on his ongoing recovery process. Shipley also reports watching the new Star Wars trailer with "the guys" four times, once frame-by-frame. "[A]lthough sadness was always with me, I could feel other emotions as well. Oh thank god."
The ninth journal entry since Tuesday seems to indicate Shipley's condition has improved somewhat. "After being in hell, purgatory just seems so nice," Shipley writes. "Last night, just before I fell asleep, I could feel happiness waiting for me at the end of all this...."
"Of course, that may have been the Zoloft talking."
A doctor prescribed the anti-depressant for Shipley earlier this week -- and Shipley has noticed a tangible improvement in his mood. "I haven't had a real panic attack since yesterday at about 5 p.m., which is a record." Which he credits to Rollins' final departure, his resolution to be strong for her -- and Zoloft. Ms. Rollins made a final visit to retrieve her cat Friday evening at 10:30 p.m.
Still, Shipley notes that this new-found optimism has its limits. "If I think about forever without her, it's curl-up-in-a-fetal-ball-panting time." In fact, after taking a three-hour nap Saturday, the panic returned. "It's not fair -- there wasn't a catalyst, unless napping causes panic."
A supplemental paragraph on why "Panic sucks" is also included in the on-line journal -- along with memories of his years with Rollins. "[O]ne year she bought a pack of Lion King Valentine's cards and made them all out to me and scattered them around for me to find." Now Shipley faces a series of painful if-only's.
For example: "If only I had started this drug earlier, I wouldn't have been so bitter and scared of life and completely wrapped up in my own neurosis, and I could have been a real partner to her."

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)