I want to kill bugs, sir!

     
 

Shipley Misses Sex Less Than Expected
1998-11-22 11:44:00


The Rollins-Shipley Crisis
 
No surgery could hide the sparkle of brilliant nuck clone mastermind evil that you have in your eyes.
-- Mr. Bad

 

Omni Development president Wil Shipley finds the most difficult part of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins is her unavailability for conversation. Shipley expressed surprise in an on-line essay. "I always assumed that the hardest thing would be the no sex...."

Day Five of Shipley's on-line journal sheds new light on his ongoing recovery process. Shipley also reports watching the new Star Wars trailer with "the guys" four times, once frame-by-frame. "[A]lthough sadness was always with me, I could feel other emotions as well. Oh thank god."

The ninth journal entry since Tuesday seems to indicate Shipley's condition has improved somewhat. "After being in hell, purgatory just seems so nice," Shipley writes. "Last night, just before I fell asleep, I could feel happiness waiting for me at the end of all this...."

"Of course, that may have been the Zoloft talking."

A doctor prescribed the anti-depressant for Shipley earlier this week -- and Shipley has noticed a tangible improvement in his mood. "I haven't had a real panic attack since yesterday at about 5 p.m., which is a record." Which he credits to Rollins' final departure, his resolution to be strong for her -- and Zoloft. Ms. Rollins made a final visit to retrieve her cat Friday evening at 10:30 p.m.

Still, Shipley notes that this new-found optimism has its limits. "If I think about forever without her, it's curl-up-in-a-fetal-ball-panting time." In fact, after taking a three-hour nap Saturday, the panic returned. "It's not fair -- there wasn't a catalyst, unless napping causes panic."

A supplemental paragraph on why "Panic sucks" is also included in the on-line journal -- along with memories of his years with Rollins. "[O]ne year she bought a pack of Lion King Valentine's cards and made them all out to me and scattered them around for me to find." Now Shipley faces a series of painful if-only's.

For example: "If only I had started this drug earlier, I wouldn't have been so bitter and scared of life and completely wrapped up in my own neurosis, and I could have been a real partner to her."

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

jared@pigdog.org


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