Build Date: Fri Apr 19 22:00:07 2024 UTC
Besides, the NRA are a bunch of liberal commie pinkos.
-- Master Squid
Crazy Freakfest In the Streets for J20
2001-01-17 18:34:01
d00d! It's that time again -- another protest massive in the HEART of the MACHINE. Welcome in the Second Bush Era with a scream and not a whimper -- hit the streets on J20!
OK, dig: so ever since the big WTO hoo-ha up in Seattle a while ago, every big protest on Earth has to be given a name based on the first letter of the month plus the number of the day of the month. So the protests revolving around the inauguration of George W. Bush are called "J20" by those protest hipsters in the know. Who cares if that's the standards committee for Smalltalk? We need a name and "Big-ass Inauguration Protest" just doesn't have the same revolutionary Newspeak ring.
Oh, but anyways: George W. Bush! Elected to President! And barring global catastrophe he's going to become president on January 20th, with the horse-drawn-carriage and the crowds and the big party and everything. Yipes! Holy fuckbags!
We're headed into another era of high weirdness. For some reason the guy who's in the White House tends to set the tone for the entire nation, and I doubt George W. Bush is going to be an exception. Not that this previous 8 years hasn't be frickin' creepy in and of its own right, but I have a bad feeling about the upcoming Time of Trouble. There's just a reallll bad timewarp juju about this transition, I dunno.
Hell, the fact that the man is riding into the office on the crest of a wave of chaos, chicanery, and plain old dipshitted confusion is bad enough. Truth be told, the election of George Bush is not only a glaring red YOU ARE HERE arrow in the ugly mall map of all that's wrong with democracy in general and American politics in particular, but its really a glaring example of the horrendous come-to-pass thrown upon us by the human condition. How can we know anything? Who decides when those in authority are wrong? How can we count everybody? When can we just round off at the end and say, "Good enough for government work"? Why do I have to even be stuck on this planet with the rest of you morons?
Frankly, it's all entirely unfair, and that's why we're having a protest here. OK, well, that's not entirely why. The fact is that every single lefty cause on the planet is going to be espoused at the J20 protests. Of course, there will be a militant Mumia Abu-Jamal contingent (why isn't that man free yet? I'm sick of hearing about him), a bunch of Iraq people, some folks in support of that island in Puerto Rico that keeps getting bombed, some mainstream libby groups probly, etc. etc. Everybody's gotta beef and they're taking it to the streets, as is absolutely correct and proper.
It looks like we've got two big-ass protests going on for J20. The first and foremost is in DC, and of course it'll get all the attention and be the most humorless and unfun. The better one, I'm sure, will be here in SF, featuring (among other things) a coolio march by the St. Stupid's Parade folks (who are also responsible for hijacking a Nation cover to make this cool poster). It should be a good time, actually -- the Bay Area has righteous indignation in a violent-yet-fun-setting down pat.
I suggest to all Pigdog Readers that you hit the streets on J20 no matter what part of the political spectrum you're on. Protest the inauguration of the borderline-retarded new President, protest the widespread use of GIFs, or protest the encroachment of brown snails onto your tomato plants. Protest the cruel ways of the world, protest the fundamental undecidability of elections, protest the mechanism of protest. Make a noisemaker, make a cool sign. Wear a turtle suit. Get your fundamental scream out, because the bad shit is only just begun.
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Robert Helms makes a living volunteering for medical experiments. Though Helms — and almost all guinea pigs — get paid for their participation in medical trials, they are still "volunteers" according to a byzantine legal code. They are compensated for their time, not paid to ingest medicine. He and "guinea pigs" like him have learned the intimate art of taking catheters in their veins, tubes in their intestines, EKG electrodes on their nipples. (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)
