Build Date: Wed Feb 12 11:41:52 2025 UTC
Hey, I take exception to that! I don't say "Wooo." I say, "Wooohahahah! WOOOOHahahHAHAHAH!!!!!"
-- Ratsnatcher
Protesters Win; Tjames Wrong
1999-12-03 09:33:39
If there's one thing Seattle loves, it's when the whole family gets together and protests the WTO. The mayor has spoken in favor of the protests, albeit prompted by a negative-press bitchslap. The police are now escorting and assisting the rioters. People are now protesting mostly to free the protesters. Has the protest been assimilated back into the normal world? Also, Tjames is wrong.
So, it's starting to look like a cozy aftermath. The main group of protesters is condemning the violent ones. The press is starting to cover the press coverage of the issue. People are starting to think about people in jail and the consequences. The WTO meeting is almost over. Also, Tjames is totally wrong about the risk of the WTO kicking the USA out; nobody kicks the USA out of anything - I mean, FUCK, the USA hasn't been kicked out of the Southeast Asian Trade Organization, and it's NOT IN SOUTHEAST ASIA.
It looks like the more riotish parts of the riot were caused by a bunch of punks from Eugene, Oregon. To them, I say, "Oi!" It looks like the city government's getting mildly apologetic for getting caught being a government. To them, I say, "Oi!" It looks like Tjames thinks that the best thing to do is to try to maneuver the WTO into acting like non-bad people. To him, I say, "I don't think the WTO was created with secret meetings, no democratic measures, and the ability to overrule the laws of national governments so that they could help people."
So, it looks like there's an emerging class of citizen devoted to whatever protest is happening, wherever. They bring their signs to the protest, even if the sign has nothing to do with it. I like to think that, once they leave the peace-love spectrum, they'll start applying their fighting-riot-cops experiences to develop a NEW COMBAT STYLE. They'll be like an elite cadre of copstopping hippie ninjas! YEAH! Forged in fire, with hearts of ice. Raised and honed as a TOOL OF WAR against the state. Their Kung Fu and the power of their Ghost Dance will render them immune to rubber bullets! RAINBOW SQUAD SIX!
Uh, where was I? Oh yeah. Last night, I had an idea for rewriting "The Murders at the Rue De La Morgue" from the perspective of the orangutan. Maybe the orangutan could go to Seattle and start protesting when he's done in Paris.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
War on Terror produces excess inventory of doomsday ready laptops
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)