Build Date: Wed Sep 30 20:10:19 2026 UTC
I think you're a hypocrite for calling me a hypocrite for calling you a hypocrite.
-- Mr. Bad
Fuck the Issues! Let's Tear Shit Up!
1999-12-01 14:38:15
Okay, so the protesters include a set of stupid people. The fact is, they've caused serious problems for the WTO with their merry ragamuffin ways, and I say that puts them on the Environmentalist Santa's Nice list. Even the Commies.
But now, President Clinton is in town, police are declaring national emergency and arresting anyone on sight, and those who unbellyfeel WTOthink are being taken to the miniluv building. But people are still going out and protesting in big numbers. Big stupid numbers, maybe, but still big numbers.
Personally, I think this is going to be a major embarassment for the United States Government. Uncle Sam trying to look all cool and gain popularity by having the party at his house, and then his stupid nephew is throwing shit. I bet some WTO muckety got his feelings hurt, and is making all kinds of big Star Chamber threats which would demote Clinton down to a 63rd degree Mason or something.
I bet that Falun Gong is involved somehow.
And I think the protesters are all having mind control messages beamed from below by Mother Earth's psionic deathwaves, because they forgot to wear tin foil shoes.
Uh, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Seattle. Protestors. Government backlash. Way to go, dumb effective protestors. You're still not getting any free love from me, though.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
