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Watch Naked Newscasters
2000-11-01 22:29:07


We're Professionals, Dammit!
 
Knowing what a bunch of capitalistic swine you guys are, I'd bet you'd rent that guy the inflatable sheep by the hour.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

Naked women read the news every day, and you can watch the footage online. But disrobing while televising the day's headlines is subversive in more ways than one...

Here's a list of words you almost never hear naked women say...

NASDAQ
Yitzak Rabin
Basque separatists
weather forecast

While everyone likes getting naked, newscasts have until now proceeded on the assumption that the IMPORTANT business of the day is the impersonal political-corporate bullshit. In some ways, every minute you spend watching a traditional newscast is an implicit slap in the face to your libido.

But not at NakedNews.com. Suddenly the eye-glazingly dull contents of a typical broadcast -- news, weather, sports, and lame closing jokes -- are directed at a different part of your brain. Besides the obvious "gawk factor," the site is a parody of newscasts -- and the newscast viewers who sit through that banal crap without even thinking how repressed and impersonal the whole news format is.

It makes you realize most televised news follows the same, predictible pattern. The fact that the act of disrobing can seem so surprising should be a warning to us all. Do we really want public nudity to be so alien to us? What does it say about our culture that our channels of information follow a prudish Victorian model that was devised sometime in the mid-1900s?

Maybe I'm just trying to rationalize how compelling I find this site. But as more and more celebrities and non-celebrities cash in on the notoriety they get simply from taking their clothes off, it makes you wonder if we'll ever re-assess our cultural priorities. Sooner or later, those social walls have to crumble, and sites like NakedNews.com have already taken up the challenge.

As Linda Ellerbee would say: And so it goes.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

radon@pigdog.org


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