Build Date: Tue Dec 2 03:10:06 2025 UTC
I had some creepy sweet pale beer that tasted like shit. I hate that kind of stuff. I wonder why I do that to myself. Maybe it's a self-loathing thing.
-- Mr. Bad
Write for The Pigdog Journal... or You Suck
1999-01-07 00:07:00
Everyone reveres the Mining Company -- the great internet start-up that bottled SlashDot's formula and sold it wholesale. But things are not always what they seem. New evidence suggests The Mining Company is an evil scam, like sixdegrees.com and the Free Masons.
The Mining Company posted an ad to the List Foundation offering to let aspiring writers "break into" web writing! "Unfortunately, we cannot pay for the articles," their ad explains, "but you will get a byline, bio, and (almost) total editorial control!"
What is this bullshit? You write their web content for free, and they give you....nothing?
Oh, I'm sorry -- you get a by-line and a bio, too. Whoopee! Don't spend it all in one place! Savor that warm glow from your by-line while you shiver unfed in a South of Market flophouse. And when you're out on the streets, be sure to say hi to the bums. They're probably writing for MiningCo.com too!
Attention aspiring writers: Why write for those pussies at MiningCo.com? If you're not going to make any money, you should at least be having some fun! Take your personal essays and your restaurant/club reviews and stick them up your ass. Then compose scatological rants, geeky satirical dialogues, and disturbing blurbs about weird news of the world -- and send them to Pigdog! Who knows? Maybe we'll proclaim you the winner in a yet-to-be-announced William Burroughs sound-alike contest. (Really! Send something that actually sounds like William Burroughs, and we'll proclaim you the winner!)
Unfortunately, WE can't pay for the articles EITHER! But you'll get a byline in pretty blue letters, linked to your name! And how cool is THAT?!
Out: MiningCo. In: Pigdog.
That is all.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)