Ministry of Truth! Just like in that TV show with the cats.


Write for The Pigdog Journal... or You Suck
1999-01-07 00:07:00

Pigdog Journal
Who the fuck cares who gets the parades?
-- Johnnie Royale


Everyone reveres the Mining Company -- the great internet start-up that bottled SlashDot's formula and sold it wholesale. But things are not always what they seem. New evidence suggests The Mining Company is an evil scam, like and the Free Masons.

The Mining Company posted an ad to the List Foundation offering to let aspiring writers "break into" web writing! "Unfortunately, we cannot pay for the articles," their ad explains, "but you will get a byline, bio, and (almost) total editorial control!"

What is this bullshit? You write their web content for free, and they give you....nothing?

Oh, I'm sorry -- you get a by-line and a bio, too. Whoopee! Don't spend it all in one place! Savor that warm glow from your by-line while you shiver unfed in a South of Market flophouse. And when you're out on the streets, be sure to say hi to the bums. They're probably writing for too!

Attention aspiring writers: Why write for those pussies at If you're not going to make any money, you should at least be having some fun! Take your personal essays and your restaurant/club reviews and stick them up your ass. Then compose scatological rants, geeky satirical dialogues, and disturbing blurbs about weird news of the world -- and send them to Pigdog! Who knows? Maybe we'll proclaim you the winner in a yet-to-be-announced William Burroughs sound-alike contest. (Really! Send something that actually sounds like William Burroughs, and we'll proclaim you the winner!)

Unfortunately, WE can't pay for the articles EITHER! But you'll get a byline in pretty blue letters, linked to your name! And how cool is THAT?!

Out: MiningCo. In: Pigdog.

That is all.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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