Build Date: Thu Aug 27 07:40:22 2026 UTC
Don't hit the atmosphere. It'll only make it whine.
-- Binky
KDE 2
2000-11-03 00:27:41
KDE 2 has been released. Go to kde.org right now.
The much anticipated release of KDE version 2.0 is finally here. We can all rejoice and forget about trying to cope with the fucked up way Gnome scrolls between desktops when you move the mouse around. Even more spectacular are the fancy ass graphics. No longer can spacey Windows (as well as whiney little Mac) users feel confident in the aesthetics of their window manager. KDE 2 has graduated to glowing gradients, beautiful bevels, and state of the art stipling. This is the kind of desktop environment that will make a straight man want to decorate his living room, a goth want to wear fuschia, and a gutter punk want to colorize their safety pins. The "tip of the day" isn't even annoying. It features a kharacter from Ktolkien's Klord of the Krings as the overseer of higher knowledge which will make even the fussiest of point and clickers never touch the checkbox to disable it. The help files are complete and come in all sorts of languages, even esperanto. In fact, the user can set all the menus to run in esperanto, falling back on another popular technical language such as turkish or czech if the appropriate translation is not available for Gnulactic Konquest. KDE Toys have been enhanced with The Tea Cooker and AMOR (amusing misuse of resources). The tea cooker is a program which will remind the user when their tea, be it earl grey, fruit, or some user defined (i.e. psilocybe) tea is finished brewing. AMOR, or as I coined during my last acid trip, pacman on crack, is a friendly looking smiley face which does various annoying human-like gestures on the window titlebars giving a personal touch to the desktop. Other features include a full office suite so that you can produce microsoftish documents suitable to photocopy a hundred times over, DivX and MPEG 4 support to watch illegal pirated movies before they reach the video store, and an improved Korganizer scheduler to remind the user of their monthly genital washing and armpit deodorizing before their usual fourteen hour daily coding session. All in all, KDE 2 is less hassle to compile than slitting a Garcia y Vegas cigar with a key, filling the empty wrapper with finely ground buds, gnawing on one side of the tobacco to create a jagged edge, and then slobbering all over both faces of this edge to force the tobacco wrapper to adhere to itself through jagged slobbery self-adherence.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
