Build Date: Mon Sep 9 09:00:11 2024 UTC
Wasting somebody else's time strikes me as the height of rudeness.
-- Bill Gates
Net Flotsam
2001-10-19 01:07:22
A lot of humorous stuff rolled in off the web today and since I'm tired of looking that feature about the Free Dimtry Hearing on September 24th I'd thought I'd smash them all together sort like they do on Slashdot every once in a while and see how it goes. Enjoy.
Canadia
Frigate
Canadia Infantry
Canadia Airforce
First Afghan Missile
AFGHAN TV GUIDE
MONDAYS
7:30 PM - I Dream of Fatima
8:00 PM - Husseinfeld
8:30 PM - Mad About Everything
9:00 PM - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 PM - The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
10:00 PM - Allah McBeal
TUESDAYS
7:30 PM - I Love Sheep
8:00 PM - Wheel of Terror & Fortune
8:30 PM - The Price Is Right If Osama Says It's Right
9:00 PM - Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 PM - Buffy - The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
WEDNESDAYS
7:30 PM - Talibantubbies
8:00 PM - U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 PM - When Northern Alliance Attacks
9:00 PM - Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
9:30 PM - Just Shoot Everyone
10:00 PM - Veilwatch
THURSDAYS
7:30 PM - Hanging With Mr. Hijacker
8:00 PM - Matima Loves Chachi
8:30 PM - M*U*S*T*A*C*H*E
9:00 PM - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses & Veils
9:30 PM - My Two Bagdads
10:00 PM - Diagnosis: Heresy
FRIDAYS
7:30 PM - This Old Tent
8:00 PM - Movie of the Week Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
8:30 PM - Khalid and his Camel
9:00 PM - Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Achmeds Creek
10:00 PM - No-Witness News
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
