Build Date: Sat Jun 13 19:10:12 2026 UTC
You're still mad because I nailed you. 'GAR GAR (unprovoked unrelated personal attack) GAR GAR you suck etc.'
-- H. R. Pufenstuf
Net Flotsam
2001-10-19 01:07:22
A lot of humorous stuff rolled in off the web today and since I'm tired of looking that feature about the Free Dimtry Hearing on September 24th I'd thought I'd smash them all together sort like they do on Slashdot every once in a while and see how it goes. Enjoy.
Canadia
Frigate
Canadia Infantry
Canadia Airforce
First Afghan Missile
AFGHAN TV GUIDE
MONDAYS
7:30 PM - I Dream of Fatima
8:00 PM - Husseinfeld
8:30 PM - Mad About Everything
9:00 PM - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 PM - The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
10:00 PM - Allah McBeal
TUESDAYS
7:30 PM - I Love Sheep
8:00 PM - Wheel of Terror & Fortune
8:30 PM - The Price Is Right If Osama Says It's Right
9:00 PM - Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 PM - Buffy - The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
WEDNESDAYS
7:30 PM - Talibantubbies
8:00 PM - U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 PM - When Northern Alliance Attacks
9:00 PM - Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
9:30 PM - Just Shoot Everyone
10:00 PM - Veilwatch
THURSDAYS
7:30 PM - Hanging With Mr. Hijacker
8:00 PM - Matima Loves Chachi
8:30 PM - M*U*S*T*A*C*H*E
9:00 PM - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses & Veils
9:30 PM - My Two Bagdads
10:00 PM - Diagnosis: Heresy
FRIDAYS
7:30 PM - This Old Tent
8:00 PM - Movie of the Week Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
8:30 PM - Khalid and his Camel
9:00 PM - Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Achmeds Creek
10:00 PM - No-Witness News
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
