Build Date: Fri Mar 13 01:30:17 2026 UTC
You kids have no idea what it was like watching porn on eight-millimetre film... !without a projector.
-- Juggler Vain
NEERRRDDDDD!!!!
1999-10-05 22:00:45
Man, you know people who FETISHIZE stupid TV shows beyond the point of cute and clever into the realm of FEVERISH and UNHEALTHY!? You know people like that? I hate them, don't you? And yet, I have become one. Augh, the tragedy!
So, why is it that I love Futurama so much? I dunno. At my company we work with this sick metadatur standard called IMS (trust me, don't follow the link, it'll bore you to tears). One of the metadata fields we work with is called "Semantic Density." I don't know WHAT the fuck that means, but I just know that Futurama is chock full of semantic density.
Like, with most TV, you watch the first 3 minutes of a show (THAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE) and you know exactly 100% of everything that has ever happened or ever could happen in the loathesome little universe it portrays. You just sit and scream at the TV, "NO! Your PARTNER is the killer, you DUMBASS! Look, he's STABBED YOU several times! How can you continue to doubt?!" TV is made for PAINFULLY STUPID people, just like public education.
On the other hand, Futurama and of course The Simpsons are accelerated beyond the ability of mere humans to understand. They may be the first machine-readable TV shows. Like, you just CAN'T get all the jokes the first time around. There are 8 jokes going on in every frame. It's IMPOSSIBLE. You can spend 12 days freeze-framing through one 22-minute episode, and STILL not get all the jokes. It's GREAT! It's videotaped RITALIN!
So, anywho, I dig Futurama. This following link is one of those obsessive Web sites where they OVERANALYZE every single one of those jokes to the point of unpleasant fascination. Enjoy it, and tell em Pigdog sent you.
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