Build Date: Mon Sep 9 07:30:06 2024 UTC
I think I need to either get another nickname or drink more.
-- Liquor Pig
NEERRRDDDDD!!!!
1999-10-05 22:00:45
Man, you know people who FETISHIZE stupid TV shows beyond the point of cute and clever into the realm of FEVERISH and UNHEALTHY!? You know people like that? I hate them, don't you? And yet, I have become one. Augh, the tragedy!
So, why is it that I love Futurama so much? I dunno. At my company we work with this sick metadatur standard called IMS (trust me, don't follow the link, it'll bore you to tears). One of the metadata fields we work with is called "Semantic Density." I don't know WHAT the fuck that means, but I just know that Futurama is chock full of semantic density.
Like, with most TV, you watch the first 3 minutes of a show (THAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE) and you know exactly 100% of everything that has ever happened or ever could happen in the loathesome little universe it portrays. You just sit and scream at the TV, "NO! Your PARTNER is the killer, you DUMBASS! Look, he's STABBED YOU several times! How can you continue to doubt?!" TV is made for PAINFULLY STUPID people, just like public education.
On the other hand, Futurama and of course The Simpsons are accelerated beyond the ability of mere humans to understand. They may be the first machine-readable TV shows. Like, you just CAN'T get all the jokes the first time around. There are 8 jokes going on in every frame. It's IMPOSSIBLE. You can spend 12 days freeze-framing through one 22-minute episode, and STILL not get all the jokes. It's GREAT! It's videotaped RITALIN!
So, anywho, I dig Futurama. This following link is one of those obsessive Web sites where they OVERANALYZE every single one of those jokes to the point of unpleasant fascination. Enjoy it, and tell em Pigdog sent you.
T O P S T O R I E S
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
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It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
