Build Date: Thu Apr 30 04:10:09 2026 UTC
I have no body hair, three nipples and a short tail. Is this going to hurt me in the swimsuit event?
-- Lenny the Nice
I Have Something To Tell You...
2002-06-28 20:05:25
Picture this. You're in a Hallmark store, looking for exactly the right card to send to your mother. Nothing's working for you, and you're running out of options. Then you yank the last card out of the rack. On the front it's got a soft-focus photograph of two babies kissing a kitten, and there are also violets. You open it up.
To My Dearest Mother, it says. God bless the special and loving moments in our lives that I will forever cherish. You may not have noticed, but I am a faggy punk trannyboy.
See! That wouldn't work too well! And this is exactly why the world needs Trannyboy Greeting Cards.
This brilliant endeavor by "raysoltis at aol dot com and eliaspunch at yahoo dot com" is dedicated to providing high-quality, e-mailable greeting cards suitable for occasions such as "Coming Out," "Using the Men's Room," or "Surgery" free of charge.
The artwork ranges in emotional tenor from a darling, almost Peanuts-esque boi peeking down his pants, to a stark black-and-white rendition of a hand holding a syringe. Some carry text ("Can I still answer phones for the rape crisis hotline?") while some leave the images to speak for themselves. There is, for instance, a card especially for trannyboys who have been disowned by their families: it features simply a tousle-headed boy with a hobo's stick on his shoulder, and a deeply nuanced expression of unregretful sadness on his cute cartoon face.
The line-up will no doubt be expanded further as the Internet community takes advantage of this new resource. Me, I'm thinking Easter, Kwanzaa, Valentine's Days...
Because I care enough to send the very best.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)